15 January 2007

totes awards season: let the games begin

Well, this is awkward.

I left you all months ago, on for bigger and better things in the big city. Here I am, in fact in the big city, but mostly being a lower-level editorial assistant at a no-name film magazine. No, honestly. You've never heard of it.

But I'm here to talk to you about more important things, namely, the drunkest of all the big awards shows. That's right: it's finally time for the Golden Globes.

I had intended to do a big pre-Globes roundup with predictions and all, but I had something of a lost weekend, so this is the best you get. Quickly, though:

Sure Things:
Helen Mirren in The Queen.
Because she will fuck you up and kill you if you don't vote for her.

Forest Whitaker in The Last King of Scotland
Because we think Queen Elizabeth killed people, but we know Idi Amin did, so he will really fuck you up if you don't vote for him.

Sasha Baron Cohen in Borat
No, seriously. The competition is nonexistent. And anyway, Sasha Baron Cohen is kind of cute in real life. Provided he doesn't accept as Borat.

And of course...
Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls
And I am telling you, she's not going home empty-handed. Watch carefully for Beyonce shooting lasers through her eyes.

I'd love to see Meryl Streep and either Marty or Clint (both pals of Wesleyan film department, whoo whoo!) go up there, but since Children of Men got shut out of the entire, I can't muster the energy to care too much about the rest of them. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I care. I'm just bitter.

So Entertainment Tonight seems to have been funded by Dreamgirls, calling itself "One Night Only" and pimping out Jennifer Hudson as she tries on all the free stuff. Everyone involved in this should be ashamed of themselves.

It looks like things are getting off to an appropriately inappropriate start. Hooray for the beginning of awards season!

I miss Brokeback jokes,



Justin said...

Oh, I'm so excited about this ("this" being your return. I hate award shows)!

Joe John said...

You're one for four Ms. Rich.

You actually may have gotten more, but I've had trouble paying attention with my crappy television.

Also, PRINCE! PRINCE! I'm absolutely thrilled about that.