25 January 2007

totes awards season: the best directors

Before we begin looking at the full list of nominees this year, let's take a look at the track record of one Mr. Martin Scorsese.

Yes, the eyebrows are real, and they're fabulous.

1980: Nominated for Best Director for Raging Bull. Loses to pretty boy Robert Redford (Ordinary People), who, to be fair, looks great in pinstripes.
Dysfunctional Chicago family > washed-up boxer

1988: Nominated for Best Director for Last Temptation of Christ. Loses to Baltimorean Barry Levinson (Rain Man), who, honestly, makes some horrible hat choices.
Autistic Dustin Hoffman > uhh... Jesus?

1990: Nominated for Best Director for Goodfellas. Loses to Wesleyan parent Kevin Costner (Dances with Wolves), who, to be fair, looks great in white.
A home where the buffalo roam > a home where the mob threatens your well-being

2002: Nominated for Best Director for Gangs of New York. Loses to Roman Polanski (The Pianist) who, for Christ's sake, is a real-live sex offender.
Haunting Holocaust drama > kinda mediocre New York gore-fest

2004: Nominated for Best Director for The Aviator. Loses to Clint Eastwood (Million Dollar Baby), who, to be fair, packs some serious heat.
"Mo Cuishle "> "Way of the Future" (when it comes to catchphrases, at least)

So here we are in 2006. And who is the Great Eyebrowed One up against this time?
Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu (Babel), who makes a pretty fierce "call me" gesture

Stephen Frears (The Queen), who is British , people, come on

Paul Greengrass (United 93), who looooves 9/11... and, clearly being a hippie, another kind of green "grass," if you know what I mean, and you do

Holy fuck! Clint's back! Get the ammo!

The purpose of this whole history lesson: it's Marty's year. Clint won two years ago (deservedly), Paul Greengrass couldn't even get his movie nominated for Best Picture (and he's a newbie-- he's got time), Innaritu has been doing the same thing in his last two movies and also has plenty of time, and Frears, like his movie, is a bit too British and starched collar to evoke too much emotion. Anyway, why would you go for that when you could go for the man who lets Leonardo DiCaprio wave a rifle in the air once in a while.
Way of the future!

In conclusion: smile, Marty! If I had photoshop I would totally replace that Golden Globe with an Oscar, but pretty soon I won't even need to. You'll have it for real.

Next time we do Best Actor, and perhaps discuss why I never noticed Forest Whitaker's crazy eye before the Golden Globes, and what's up with that anyway?

Wondering why so many people loosely connected to Wesleyan get nominated for Oscars,