24 April 2006

dirty diana 4evs

While everyone else has moved on with life after Project Runway, I continue to stalk the contestants at every chance possible. And by stalk at every chance possible, I mean read their blogs and check their websites on occasion. Seriously.

Ms. Diana Eng, my favorite contestant from the start to the finish, once agreed to do an interview for our lovely site. Within a few days, I sent some questions her way. Weeks later, I received this e-mail.

Hi Joe,
I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you but
am really busy this week. I will get to your questions this weekend.
Kindly,
Diana


Well, as you can tell by the lack of interview on this site, Diana never got back to me. In any case, I was still excited just to have her e-mail me a second time that I barely care. One of my major questions for her was about the creepy fan-mail she receives, which she answered indirectly through her blog.

"Of course being a very minor celebrity computer nerd fashion designer means that I get all sorts of interesting fanmail ranging from propositions from men old enough to be my father, to a death threat, to letters written completely in L337. "L" "3" "3" "7." The secret hacker code which consists of numbers such as 3 used to represent letters such as E. Meaning that I get a big mish-mash of letters and numbers in an email that is completely unintelligible to myself.

"My favorite fanmail, was sent by a mail admirer who included a photograph of himself dressed as a robot. He had all the robot parts except for the parts that should have been covering his essential bits ::gestures towards essential bits::. He had robot arms, robot legs.... but then he was bare chested with poorly photoshoped in muscles and below that that were his exposed guy parts! To top it off, he had coated his body in a horribly glistening oil. And after a few years of nude figure drawing, I noticed that he had photoshoped a few inexistent muscles onto his glistening torso.

"I sort of admired his creativity. The robot parts seemed made of tin foil, Wrigley's spearmint gum wrappers and duct tape. But the nakedness was just too much.

"Despite all of my lovely fanmail, I have to say that my favorite part of having been on Project Runway is that I can now wear my glasses to cool people places. Cool people places are clubs, bars, etc. places I used to wear make-up and contacts to in attempts to look my very best. However, now it is more advantageous for me to wear my glasses increasing my chances of having folks recognize me.

"Of course, I only had to go on national television to make wearing my glasses cool."

A small part of me wishes I was that naked robot dude.

d/l: MICHAEL JACKSON- Dirty Diana
(BUY Bad)

I'll be your everything if you make me a star,
Joe John

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