03 February 2006

consumer reports: the aristocrats

I can take a lot of poopy, incestuous vagina jokes, but this documentary kinda grossed me out. See it in the Wesleyan Film Series tonight at 8:

The Aristocrats

The Battlefield Earth of documentaries (1 star)
"I had to watch this film with a friend who wanted to see a friend of his that is in it. We didn't know where he was so we had to watch the whole sordid affair. It was torture, I tell you. All I could think the entire time is; what is wrong with these people? If you saw Battlefield Earth, you know what I mean. If you have not, please save yourself and just take my word. It is HELL! Have you noticed those who say they like this film defend it like a scientologist defends BE? Is there a cult of incestuous fecal whores?"

Finally, a movie for the whole family. (5 starts)
"This is the kind of movie that Walt Disney would have made if he were alive today. Heart warming, sentimental, with a deep message that resonates with that child that is within all of us. The dialogue is sometimes overly philosophical but the message still gets through: Life is good....people are great...and everything is as it should be.

I especially recommend this movie if you are a regular churchgoer, you can really learn alot of expressions here that would liven up any Sunday School Class."
-Mr Potato Head

And the #1 Reason You're A Putz is... (5 stars)
"...you gave 1 star to this documentary. It's tasteless yet tactful. World needs an enema--watch this DVD. One star...good grief. You upstarts are all nisht gut."
-Coroner "The Original Dangerous Competitor"

"Watch it ONLY if you enjoy comedians discussing fists in orifaces and wiping them on other body parts of parents while they are engaged in abusive and illegal acts with their children while regurgitating body fluids from the previous acts they have been said to commit with their dead grandmothers while sliding through exrement."

-G. Engler "garyoke"

see it to spite the naysayers (5 stars)
"This is what the First Amendment was made for. If you believe in free speech, if you are an independent thinker, if you cherish irreverence -- watch this film. It is funny. It is important. It is cheap on Amazon."
-Ethan Pines

The funniest movie I've ever seen (5 stars)
"This movie is not only the funniest movie I've ever seen, it's also amazingly uplifting. These comedians obviously relish their own abilities to stretch the boundries of taste. Watching them joyfully string together sentence after unbelievable sentence of pure scatalogical poetry just made me happy to be a human being."

BRILLIANT! (5 stars)
"Sure, this movie didn't have any penguins in it, but it didn't stop it from being the most engaging, thoughtful, funny documentary of 2005. This a movie full of humor and love. If you want to know what cats like George Carlin, Gilbert Gottfried, Andy Dick and Sarah Silverman have in common with the likes of Stan Getz, Sarah Vaughn, Gerry Mulligan and Shelly Manne, you'll get it when you see this movie. And if nothing else, you'll come away from it having the phrase "rusty trombone" in your vocabulary forever."
-M. Ragaisis "technogoddess-at-large"

The funniest Movie Ever Made! (5 stars)
"I heard that Miss Americas all voted for themselves for "Miss Congeniality." If the people are going to speak about our movie, I'm one of the people.

Five stars, put that in your total and divide by the number of reviews!"
-Penn Jillette "Aristocrat"

Joe Franklin raped me,

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