09 February 2006

best mixtape ever!: toteumbrellas february dance party playlist

DON'T MISS OUT, because this is my best mixtape yet. In making it, I took several things into account. It was like writing a fourth grade essay: What does February mean to me?
  1. CUPID! CANDY! EXPENSIVE DINNERS! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! AWKWARD!= Valentine's Day
  2. Black History Month
Obviously, I didn't think it'd be right for me, a random white boy who is maybe 1/4 Puerto Rican, to make a mixtape about Black history.

"Uh, um...here is a song I heard by Aretha Franklin. This one is by, um, DMX. Like, the Black Eyed Peas are pretty good. I heard this song once when I watched BET."

And then there is Valentine's Day. I can't make a mix about single-life and bitterness. ::insert joke that would make single people upset:: I can't make a mix about love, because you'd honestly want to barf all over my face after that.

Kid in middle is totes awkies.

So I made a decision--- FEBRUARY is officially the month of DANCE PARTIES.
  1. BLOC PARTY- Helicoptor (Diplo remix): I have to confess that I never really liked Diplo or Bloc Party too much. This song changed everything. Upon first listen, I thought it was way too long. Upon second listen, I was hooked, addicted. (BUY Silent Alarm)
  2. TONI BASIL- Mickey (Spanish version): Take a cheesey 80s tune and make the chorus translate to "Oh Mickey! How are you? How are you? I like you more. Hey Mickey!" and I am sold. (BUY The Best of Toni Basil)
  3. PEACHES- Shake Yer Dix: Do you really need an explanation for this? If you're about ____ing the pain away, then this song needs to be on your playlist too. (BUY Fatherf*cker)
  4. BEDTIME FOR TOYS- Chandelier: I got friended by this band on MySpace one day. I usually never friend bands I've never heard before or people I've never met. MySpace is just damn creepy that way. I listened to their songs, forgot about them for awhile, and then rediscovered them again. It's safe to say that I am obsessed. (BUY Bedtime for Toys EP)
  5. LE SPORT- Tell No One About Tonight: Trashy Euro-dance song that you'll feel like you've heard millions of times before...in the good way (maybe). (BUY Tell No One About Tonight)
  6. JUNIOR SENIOR vs. LAURYN HILL- Doo Wop Move Your Feet: Once upon a time, Max Goldblatt was DJing a party at 128 Pearl St. He threw this song on...and I flipped three thousand shits. That night was the night when 2 became 1. Two songs that is. (BUY The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, BUY Hey Hey My My Yo Yo)
  7. MEN, WOMEN, & CHILDREN- Dance in My Blood: I heard this song ages ago, but kept it off this blog because I was saving it for Justin's Christmas mix CD that I never gave him. Oops. I'll just have to re-do it Justy...for your half-birthday? (uh...BUY a t-shirt)
  8. I'M FROM BARCELONA- We're From Barcelona: I think the name of this song and artist next to one another justifies it's inclusion on this list. It's also damn catchy. (BUY soon)
  9. BRITNEY SPEARS- Get It? Go! (Unreleased DFA demo): I heard that this song was labeled by Britney's record execs as "too hip", so it will never be released. The lyrics are pretty unintelligible, but honestly I don't care what she's saying...because this song has a cowbell. (BUY Greatest Hits)
  10. LADY SOVEREIGN- Public Warning: A new high-energy song from the UK's "queen of grime". It's a little silly but so high energy that I feel like I just downed five Bawls in a row. Hehe...Bawls. (BUY Vertically Challenged)
  11. IRENE CARA- Flashdance (What a Feeling): Don't judge! This song is fantastic. If you don't believe me, wait for the back-up singers to sing "I have music now! I have rhythm now!" Because you didn't have it until you've listened to this song. (BUY the soundtrack)
  12. THE KNIFE- You Take My Breath Away: It's a rule that Swedes have to make crazy, hypnotically good music. This is no exception to that rule. (BUY Deep Cuts)
  13. BUSTA RHYMES f/ MISSY ELLIOTT, RAH DIGGA, & MARY J. BLIGE- Touch It (Remix): Just because Busta Rhymes stuck it in Nicole Richie, he suddenly thinks that he is "out of your league"...so he let the "Queens of the Game" spit at you. If this is what it feels like to be spit at, then I want more of it. (BUY The Best of Busta)
  14. THE MANAGEMENT or MGMT- Just Becuz: I mean, after the said the gramophone incident, you all should have heard "Kids". This is an "ol skool" jam by MGMT that I still really like. Why? Just Becuz! hahahahaha...I slay myself. (BUY Time to Pretend EP)
  15. ROBYN- Be Mine!: Robyn Was Here...then she was there. NOW, she is back...and she is way better than she was back then. (BUY Robyn)
  16. AVENUE D- Do I Look Like a Slut?: Do I? Uh huh. Shut up. This song is very reminiscent of Salt N Pepa, L'Trimm, etc. It even steals one of it's lines from 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy". (BUY the single)
  17. THE LIGHT BULB PROJECT- If I Liked Sports, I'd Be One: I don't like sports, and even if you do...you might still love this song as much as I do. The best part about this song is it's logic. I like this song, so I must be this song. (BUY the music)
  18. NEXT- Too Close: This song needs to be brought back into heavy rotation on the dance party scene. It's about boners! (BUY Rated Next)
  19. OH NO! OH MY!- I Love You All the Time: This song isn't about boners, unless you replace the word "love" with "I have a boner for you". It does, however, make a transition from dance song to folky strumming of guitars with an ease that you wouldn't believe. It is among my favorite songs on this list, so if you hate it...we can't be friends. (BUY pre-release for $1.50)
  20. MISSY ELLIOTT f/ EVE- 4 My People: The first time I heard this song, I danced so hard that I looked like I was having a seizure. I requested it at every sweet sixteen I went to afterwards. If the DJ didn't have it, I killed him. Really. (BUY Miss E. So Addictive)
  21. MIRROR BOIYZ- Good Life: Shameless self promotion...and a very nice wind-down to this list. Essentially, this song is inspired by Eclectic's Valentine's Day party. Last year, a lesbian under the influence of a certain love-drug felt me up. Of course, the Mirror Boiyz do not encourage substance abuse! We also encourage you to wear rubbers. (GIVE us money)
Check back on this post...I may add some staple dance party jams including The Cure, Daft Punk, A.C. Newman, and The Go! Team.

Duh!...I'm a MOUSE,
Joe John

4 comments:

mell said...

your ads just keep getting better and better. sexual predators!

PS I'm making your february playlist my laundry playlist to motivate me to actually wear clean socks. So it better be good!

Joe John said...

For Mell's sake, I hope this is brilliant. I don't want people to start calling you "stinky feet" or something worse.

Katey said...

Oh my God, let's have a dance party PLEASE.

Noel said...

Robyn... .that was my girl... do you know what it takessssss