28 February 2006

i'm dreaming of dreamgirls

Am I the gayest human being ever for being excited about this?
Dreamgirls may be the first movie that Beyonce Knowles is in that doesn't suck! With the exception of Carmen: A Hip-Hopera, one of my favorite films of all time.

The movie will also feature Jennifer Hudson from American Idol, who should have won solely for her one performance of "The Circle of Life" that made my heart literally melt. Okay, for that statement, I am now officially the gayest human being ever.

AND OH MY GOD. The third girl was in my other favorite musical film of all time...From Justin to Kelly. She played the role of "Kelly Clarkson's token black friend".

EDIT: Supporting my nomination for the gayest human being ever, I just bought Project Runway season 2 on iTunes.

EDIT PT. 2: Speaking of gayest human being ever, head over to shitparade and read why Anne Hathaway loves the ladies. Thanks Andrea!

No way I'm livin' without you,
Joe John

totes an interview: basia bulat

Basia Bulat has a gorgeous voice. If it has yet to meet your ears, you are at a serious disadvantage. Her vocals have been compared to those of Leslie Feist or Natalie Merchant, and on top of that she is the sweetest, most adorable musical artist that I have ever been in contact with.

I discovered Basia on *sixeyes, and quickly became interested in learning more. Little did I know that Basia would be just as excited about letting me know this information as I was about hearing it! If you loved the february winter mix, then you may appreciate some other songs by her...

BASIA BULAT- Snakes and Ladders
BASIA BULAT- Sugar and Spice
(HEAR more at her MySpace including a cover of The Strokes "Someday")

JOE JOHN: How would you describe your sound to someone who was unfamiliar with it?

BASIA: Hmmm...chamber pop i guess?

JOE JOHN: What are some of your major musical influences?

BASIA: Ack! That's always a loaded question! I think the music that has influenced me the most is probably stuff you can't hear in my own songwriting, but people like Joan Serrat and Silvio Rodriguez. I'm in love with their music...and the other big influences in how I think about music have been Otis Redding and Neutral Milk Hotel, although I'm sure you can't hear the influence in the songs that much!

JOE JOHN: Some people call you weird. Your friends would call you romantic. (reference to MySpace profile) What do you call yourself?

BASIA: Oh don't ask me such things! You'll start an identity crisis!

JOE JOHN: Fair enough! What's the best compliment you've received as a musician?

BASIA: Hmmm well the thing is anytime someone really loves something i've written or tells me that they really like my voice, or pays any sort of compliment, it really means a lot to me. Its wonderful that people find a connection with my music, so I guess every compliment is the best!

I read that you lost your voice for two weeks...How'd that go for you?

BASIA: It was actually a really hard but also really interesting time...I actually had lost my voice the week before, and then was told to be on voice rest for two weeks afterwards, so it was more like three weeks of no talking, although two were self-imposed...it was definitely hard to keep my thoughts to myself!!! Haha, but i think i'm definitely a better listener now :)

JOE JOHN: So you're recording a new album. Can you tell us more about the songs?

BASIA: Yes! I am, and I will! I'm recording with my friends at the Hotel2Tango in Montreal, which is a wonderful studio and I'm working with a really great producer, Howard Bilerman, who shares a lot of the same philosophies that I have about music, which is great...and the record is going to be either 12 or 13 songs, a few old ones are being re-recorded, like "snakes and ladders" and "why can't it be mine" but then there are a whole bunch of new songs that i'm really excited about too...and those are top secret! haha

JOE JOHN: Can you tell us more about your orchestra/band?

BASIA: Everyone in the band is a dear friend of mine. There's sort of a rotating cast of characters that include my brother, my roommate, and my best friends :) Most are actually classically trained musicians as well, which is nice since I'm completely self-taught! And they're just lovely people. If you'd like names, i can go through them:

Bobby- my brother, on the drums
Holly- backups, add.percussion, ukelele
Dave-viola, and he's my roommate too!
Seo-Jin - violin
Sebastian- cello

And they are all lovely lovely people! Then we always have sort of rotating piano player, right now we have the lovely, fantastic and talented Brie-Anne playing with us and I think she might actually stay as a permanent member! which would be awesome, and then occasionally we have Trent, Kristi, or Steph play piano.
And sometimes my friend Jay plays guitar with us, and he's also great. Everyone is great! Haha I sound like Polyanna I'm sure but it's really true!

JOE JOHN: What's the best compliment you've received as a musician?

BASIA: Hmmm well the thing is anytime someone really loves something i've written or tells me that they really like my voice, or pays any sort of compliment, it really means a lot to me. Its wonderful that people find a connection with my music, so I guess every compliment is the best!

JOE JOHN: Have you ever received any creepy or strange fanmail? Any hatemail?

BASIA: Oh sure sometimes creepy stuff but nothing serious, and no, thankfully no hate mail!

JOE JOHN: Are there any musical artists that you think we should be listening to?

YES! In terms of lesser-known artists...The Adam Brown. I really think they're the best band in Canada right now! There's another up and coming band as well called Sailor White, that I think has got a great future happening for them :)

And as far as better-known artists, Okkervil River- I'm in love with the latest album from them.

JOE JOHN: What do you see in your future as a musician?

BASIA: Many years of playing music with my friends, and hopefully nobody throwing tomatoes at us! (which hasn't happened by the way......yet.)

JOE JOHN: Anything else you'd like to say to fans and listeners?

BASIA: Thanks for listening!!!!

I sent a message to Basia asking that she let us know when her new album comes out, so you'll hear about it over at totes without a doubt!

I couldn't believe the place you were putting us in,
Joe John

damita jo vs. mimi

Last we heard Mariah Carey and Janet Jackson were going to head to the studio together...but is it possible that they could be heading to the boxing ring instead?

You may have heard that Mariah has recently been cast in the "indie" film Tennessee, but is it possible that Janet Jackson was ousted for a more high-profile diva? Or did she just "drop out" as some sources say.

"Jackson was lined up to play a role in Lee Daniel's film, Tennessee, however the deal fell through and will not be going ahead. Mariah Carey has now been cast in the role."- wikipedia

I hit that chick with a bottle,
Joe John

i read it in "hogwarts: a history"!

Emma Watson (Hermione) loves her booze. Pssh!...You shouldn't be kissing the bottle. You should be kissing Ron Weasley's face! Not to mention the fact that you're only 15.


Completely unrelated, head over to Neiles Life or Gorilla vs. Bear and check out some of the tracks from the new Destroyer album Destroyer's Rubies. They are pretty fantastic. Or you can just buy the album, which I really recommend doing.

Even less related, Max Goldblatt sent me a little tid-bit from the West Coast....

Last Monday here in LA was the annual Alumni event at CAA. Jeanine and Lisa D. and Douggie and Midge were there, along with the illustrious Mike White, Rick Nicita and Joss Whedon (and the illustrious ME). But the weirdest thing was that at the table where you check in, the guy with the list of names was..... Adam, from the Real World Paris and, currently, The Inferno II. Not a Wes grad, maybe he works at CAA? Or maybe he works in the catering or event planning world? I guess a guy's got to work. I should get me a job like that.

You say he's just a friend,
Joe John

My co-bloggers think I blog too much and say they may need to stage an intervention. This is why they still haven't helped me think up the ultimate celebrity rumor. I'm thinking of something that has to do with Oprah, dolphins, and velcro.

27 February 2006

making the world a better place...one rumor at a time.

I posted a while back about the possibility of Paris Hilton playing the role of Mother Theresa in a film by Indian director T. Rajeevnath. DListed is saying that Paris got the role.

I'm wondering if this is all a joke. I mean, today's pop culture news isn't too exciting (aside from a new Celebrity Fit Club cast and Reese Witherspoon surpassing Julia Roberts as the highest paid actress of all time). With that said, people might just start making things up.

Here are my all-time favorite rumors fueled by the internet...
  1. "My Neck, My Back" rapper Khia gave her boyfriend AIDS and he shot her!!
  2. Ciara has a penis...and this is why she keeps her goodies in the jar.
  3. Lindsay Lohan--- Dating E V E R Y O N E
  4. J. Lo is preggers.
  5. That dude from Blues Clues is DEAD.
  6. Shakira hates the Israeli people.
  7. Tupac is alive!
  8. William Hung died of a heroine overdose.
  9. Tom Cruise and Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20 were caught in bed...doing it!
  10. Richard Gere likes gerbils in his bum...GAY.
  11. Eddie Murphy...GAY.
  12. James Van Der Beek...GAY.
  13. Ricky Martin...GAY.
  14. Troy Aikman...GAY.
  15. Elijah Wood...GAY.
  16. Jake Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger...GAY...together.
  17. Mike Piazza, Sam Champion...GAY...together.
Here at totes, we are going to attempt to come up with the ultimate celebrity rumor. This means that somebody is probably going to be gay. We encourage you all to make up your own rumors and post them in the comments section. Extra points for creativity.

I'm N Love Wit a Stripper,
Joe John

rest in peace: don knotts

There comes a time in every blogger's life where they need to bring sad news. Now is that time. Actor/comedian Don Knotts, at 81 years, passed away last Friday.

From The Andy Griffith Show...to Three's Company...to Pleasantville...and, um, even Chicken Little.

We will miss you.

Nothing is as simple as black and white,
Joe John

these are a few of my favorite things: tim gunn & best week ever

If you missed Tim Gunn on Best Week Ever, you are a loser. Well, actually...if you missed it, you can watch it right here. Thanks to BPR for the link...and the majority of this post!

Also, relive these fabulous moments from the reunion episode...
  • Feel Daniel Franco's LOVE.
  • Buy Diana Eng's scarves.
  • See Daniel Vosovic take his pants off. If you are a Dan fan, unlike me, you can imagine yourself inside said pants...or just visit his yet-to-exist website.

I'm so tired, I'm just gonna take my pants off,
Joe John

26 February 2006

bishop allen sufjan'd it all up

If Santino can be a verb, so can Sufjan.

Essentially, YANP fave Bishop Allen are doing a series of EPs for every month of the year. This is similar to Sufjan's 50 states project, but less researched and less ambitious. I've heard rumors that Mr. Stevens is abandoning the "50 States project" but I have yet to find confirmation on this topic. I've also heard rumors that Pennsylvania is his next project. If either of these things are true, Ashmatic Kitty is really keeping it on the hush hush.

But back to Bishop Allen! "Vain" is one of the new songs on this lovely February EP. I'm all about it right now. January's "Corazon" is growing on me, but it has a bit too much of a Coldplay vibe to it for me.

(BUY February for $5)

(BUY January for $5)

If this is your first time hearing this band, head over to their website and download 2 other tracks. I highly recommend "Things Are What You Make of Them". If you like what you hear, you can even friend them on MySpace!...or if you're not a 13 year old girl living in the body of a 20 year old male like me, you can just purchase their album on iTunes.

And you know what I mean,
Joe John

the fastest kid in the fifth grade

Are you ready for the magic? Are you ready for the heartbreak? Are you ready to swing across on the rope...to Terabithia?

That's right folks. Bridge to Terabithia is the next big children's movie (thanks Peggy!)...featuring that kid from Zathura and that girl from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The last version of this movie is from 1985. I kind of want to see it.

Here are some photos of the young actors who will be playing the parts...

TODAY: Violet Beauregarde, Leslie Burke
TOMORROW: The Next Lindsay Lohan

TODAY: Boardgames in Outer Space, Jesse Aarons
TOMORROW: Applying to Wesleyan

Sparknotes for Bridge to Terabithia

In fourth grade, I did a project for this book where we made up a magical land of our own. My group's land was called Mythuania and I was the golden knight. I felt special.

Mythuania is a place where Brian is half pony,
Joe John

PS- If you were at the midnight showing of Newsies, I highly recommend that you head over to Palms Out Sounds and check out Juelz Santana's reinterpretation of "King of New York".

25 February 2006

take a minute out and put a rubber on ya head

I've had this video for awhile, but considering it is my own work...I never thought it'd be appropriate to show on here, . I recently remembered how in love I am with this dance. It features "Baby Mama" by Fantasia Barrino and "Janet Reno" by Anquette. It also involves throwing babies. Check it out here!

Thanks to Matt from Fluxblog for bringing this song into my life long ago...

ANQUETTE- Janet Reno
(BUY Respect on emusic)

Fed up wit makin' beds up,
Joe John

the v word

The L Word must be struggling with ratings because they're about to introduce the V word to the show...
And no. It's not that V word!!!! The show already has plenty of that. I'm talking VAMPIRES. I'm worried where they're planning to take this. I mean, it's not going to be anything like Jordan's thesis Cunt Suckula, is it? Probably not. I have a feeling that it'll be something like this movie...

In other L Word news, Dana is going to battle breast cancer.

Joe John

totes remix-mania

So I just found this little number produced by Dert on gorilla vs. bear. It takes the instrumental from Jose Gonzalez's cover of The Knife's "Heartbeats" and combines it with "The Light" by Common and Erykah Badu. Dert plans on mixing Jose Gonzalez with hip-hop for an entire album entitled Sometimes I Rhyme Slow.

DERT- The Light
(BUY Veneer, BUY Like Water For Chocolate)

DERT- Two Words
(Jose Gonzalez vs. Kanye West f/ Mos Def & Freeway)
(BUY Veneer, BUY College Dropout)

Here is another mash-up number featuring the instrumental of Sean Paul's "Temperature" and the vocals of "Papa Was a Rolling Stone" by The Temptations. It has been in heavy rotation on my iTunes.

THE TEMPTATIONS vs. SEAN PAUL- Papa Was a Rolling Stone (Cosmo Baker Applause Remix)
(BUY The Ultimate Collection, BUY The Trinity)

I'm a little late in this discovery, but mc DJ does some good work. I've listened to a lot of his remixes and some have really stuck with me. He has remixed the entirety of Sufjan Stevens' Illinois, a few songs by Feist, a whole lot of Fiona Apple, and much more! Check out his blog and download more of his tunes there!

mc DJ/FIONA APPLE- Please Forgive
mc DJ/FEIST- Mushaboom
mc DJ/WOLF PARADE- It's a Curse
mc DJ/DEM FRANCHIZE BOYS- Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It (Belle & Sebastian remix)
(BUY When the Pawn Hits, BUY Let It Die, BUY Illinois, BUY Apologies to the Queen Mary, BUY Dem Franchize Boyz)

Also...can I recommend this as the next show Katey does re-caps of???
Click me.

Don't stop get it get it,
Joe John

NOTICE: If you happen to be the artist or copyright holder, please contact Joe John at the e-mail on the sidebar. The files will then be removed immediately, no questions asked.

24 February 2006

i get it, i'll keep it to myself: project runway reunion special

UPDATE: Streaming video of "Project Runway: The Musical" posted! Scroll down!

Apologies for how late this post is coming: shockingly, I have a life outside of Project Runway (gasp!) and had things to do. Trust me, I more than made up for the delay with the most screencaps yet.

So, as far as reunion shows go, the reunion itself on this one wasn't all that spectacular. The drama that seemed to be promised in the trailers-- Santino punching Heidi! Chloe crying!-- were blown way out of proportion, and the only drama was pretty much rehashed from the season with no new information. It was in the rehashing, though, that glory was found, and by rehashes I mean essentially video versions of these screencaps. Andrae's greatest facial expressions! Tim's greatest one-liners! Santino and Nick's greatest songs! So I'll start out with a shout-out to the editors, whose names are motion-blurred just to represent how fantastic they are:

Holler back.

Anyway. We'll do this in categories instead of a chronological recap, because does it really matter anyway?

1) Arrivals and transformations.
The designers show up, as tradition dictates, in losing order. Out of the cab come Heidi Standridge, perky as ever, and-- HOLY SHIT IS THAT JOHN WADE?!

Holy crap! Nick, who apparently has been hanging out with John but acts like he hasn't seen the weight- loss, tells him "It's like Star Jones," to which John says, "I'm gonna choke a bitch." That's my boy.

Aw shit, it's John Wade, son!

Kirsten shows up, and holy crap, she got fat!
J/K, she's just pregnant: the socially acceptable form of fat.

Kara shows up and shows off her huge rock.

Nick and Andrae make appropriately flamboyant entrances, beginning the seven gays' episode-long attempts to outgay each other:

2) Michael Kors, we miss you so.
Over shots of the contestants showing up, we get some selections of MK's greatest hits, which is like a gift from recap heaven. The highlights:
“She looked like barefoot Appalachia Lil' Abner Barbie”
“The tabloid press are vicious. They are vicious. It’s a guaranteed 'What was she thinking.” “She looks like a stewardess. I’m waiting for her to serve me a coffee.”
“She looks like a doormat. I think it could have had a little more personality.”
“To me it looks like a Golden Girl jacket that you belt and wear with leggings.”

It's the only MK appearance of the episode, but you know what they say about oldies but goodies.

3) The top three: gloating as an art form.

The top three designers have their own special entrance, and each of them takes the opportunity to make themselves look like huge assholes.

Tim attempts to drag some drama out of Chloe by reliving the whole "Et tu, Brute?" runway betrayal last week, but she'll have none of it. So we move on to...

5) The Santino Show
Here's where my beloved editors really start to shine. Everyone jumps all over Santino for his smack talk, particularly Daniel Franco, who makes an attempt at being tough by demanding "Why. The. Cut. Throat. Thing?" with high-school acting emphasis on every word. Santino responds with typical nonsense: “There’s a part of this competition that it’s like a basketball game. It’s like, you suck, your mama.” Santino, that's the second sports reference you've made. Three strikes and you don't count as a gay anymore.

But then... but then... we get a recap of Santino smack talking literally everyone, with a little inset of said person reacting. Just bask in the cattiness for a moment:

"I defecated on Chloe's fabric."

"Daniel Franco I think seriously has some mental defects."

"I can’t stand the sound of her voice!"

"Emmett, oh my god. Emmett... eat my ass." [Note: this sounds much less pornographic in reality, trust me.]
"I think Daniel Vosovic is full of shit."

"Zulema’s dress was pretty bad."

"Kara’s having trouble in her head."
"Nick will be upset with the fact that I will be showing at Olympus fashion week and he will not."


And in conclusion"I’m definitely an overall compassionate and nice person.”


6) And now, the main event!
Heidi and Tim call them out for talking back more than the last season, and give us a recap of all the great runway arguments, most of which we've seen already. But wait! During the lingerie challenge, somewhere in the midst of Santino's 90-minute argument with Nina Garcia, Daniel Franco actually crosses the runway to confront Santino. DF attempting to be badass twice in one episode? Maybe we're asserting our heterosexuality a bit too much, my friend.

"Don't make me go over there! I'll follow my bliss TO YOUR FACE!"

Chloe is stuck in the middle, looking the child of a divorcing couple.
She pulls off the "deer in headlights" look the models couldn't quite accomplish.

In the midst of this flashback we get a reminder of the unbearable fug that was Santino's lingerie design. I mean, for God's sake.

Back at the reunion, DF repeats that he wanted Santino to respect professionalism and then starts to cry, which cancels out the previous macho posturing. Santino says he's not a frightening guy and no one can stop cowering in their corners long enough to disagree.

8) Lupe walks the yellow highway line... and stumbles
I got called out for accusing Heidi of being drunk in the last episode when she, obviously, was pregnant. This time, however, I am 100% positive in my assertion that Lupe was out of her mind drunk. Here is a verbatim transcript, or at least the best I could decipher, of Lupe's response to a question about her elimination.

“I can only give him [the questioner] a personal critique. Nobody would ever, unless they personally respond to me, would know what my personal response is. That is of me. Personally I believe you can’t push the boundaries. Johnny Cash walked the line. Understand that Marla has an aesthetic that I cannot duplicate. But marla has an aesthetic that she cannot duplicate. And Ariann [the questioner], on national television, if you can get this, you fuckin' rock, because you believe in what is true. Period.”

Tim's response? "I think that's the biggest bunch of bullshit I've heard all night."

9) What happened to Andrae?
We take a visit back to Andrae's runway meltdown, except this time there's a timer to tell us how long it lasted. Glorious. Some choice moments and quotes that didn't make the cut the first time around:

"The challenge was going to be about how far you would go for fashion."

"I'm very innovative."
"What I had to work with was a testimony to the first and maybe the last three years of my career."

"This lovely girl, she's amazing. She's an amazing woman, not just a model."

"I'm screaming at the top of my lungs in L.A.'s Chinatown."

"When I got back there was no more shop... I was alone... I wasn't alone this time."

"I'm not supposed to be crying, Jesus!"

"It's just clothes, but it's also my life."

Just in case that wasn't heavenly enough, we also get a "great Andrae facial expressions" montage, most of which I've already posted here. BUT THEN! an "Andrae flouncing out of revolving doors" montage. I can't do it justice with still photos, but I'll try. The man never met a revolving door he didn't like.

And finally, Andrae flies like an eagle.

10) Don't make me get Shtangi.
Apparently Zulema is crazier than we ever believed. She has an alter-ego named "Shtangi," which is probably more irritating than Wendy Pepper's daughter was. Remember all those times we thought Zulema was just being a huge bitch? Turns out, it was Shtangi! "Shtangi is a tell-it-like-it-is sister," says Zulema, and I just say "Zulema is a crazy bitch." I mean, she picked a fight with Marla over a coat hanger, confessionalizing "When she came to me, I basically told her, no bitch, you’re not getting a pant hanger. I will shut you down immediately.” Phew. Way to pick your battles, Zu.

Rachael and Tarah come back just in case we needed to hammer home that Zulema is out of her mind. Rachael talks about how Zulema would prick her with pins and at one point asked if she could glue a dress to her, to which Rachael responds, "I'm kind of a real person, but whatever." Of course, then hero Uncle Nick comes in and says he regards his models "like porcelain dolls." I guess there's nice objectifying vs. painful objectifying, but seriously. Zulema and Rachael fight some more, while Nick and Tarah just look attractive and severely trapped in the middle:
Just focus on their beautiful cheekbones and pretend nothing's wrong.

11) Backstabber's revenge.
Heidi and Tim pull out all the confessional footage of the designers trashing each other (including even more Santino footage, in case you thought that was possible.) Everyone is pretty much forced to eat their words, but Andrae comes up with the best mea culpa yet:

“What’s true about life as human beings, as an Americans, is that we are accountable for what we say. We have to kind of live all together and really get along.”

But wait, did we get too serious for you there? OK, time for dance numbers!

Seriously, I cannot say it enough: these screencaps do not do justice to Project Runway: The Musical. Santino and Andrae both have surprisingly beautiful voices, Andrae moves like Gumby, and Nick gets some serious soul toward the end of the "Daniel Franco" number. But because the combination of Project Runway and musicals is by far the gayest thing I have ever witnessed, and you know what a sucker I am for excessive homosexuality, I will do my best.

UPDATE: Here is a streaming video of the musical, even though you should look at the screencaps anyway:

Santino and Nick sing "Daniel Franco, Where Did You Go?" accompanied by the Daniel Franco shuffle.

Chorus: Daniel Franco, where did you go? oh oh...
Daniel Franco where did you go?' oh oh...
(we barely got to know ya!)
Daniel Franco where did you go? oh oh... Daniel Franco where did you go? oh oh... (see you on season three!)

Breakdown: Daniel? Where are you Daniel? Where did you go?

Finale: WHERE DID YOU GOOOOOO??????? (Nick sings it with soul)

And Daniel sends us a kiss from the great beyond:
Santino and Andrae give us "Lighten Up, It's Just Fashion," this time with choreography.


Lighten up it's just

Lighten up it's just
And those are just the ones with dancing. Download this shit now.

12) Way to make it awkward, Daniel
The wonderful, magical editors prove they also have a sense humor, by keeping intact a wonderfully awkward interaction between Daniel Franco and Heidi. Still images actually sum this up pretty nicely, since everyone essentially froze when this exchange took place.

Tim: Well, Daniel, maybe we'll see you on season three.
Daniel: You might. You just might.
Tim and Heidi freeze.
Daniel: I love you Heidi.
Heidi's internal monologue: Holy shit, this guy is insane. Mein Gott! Wo ist Seal?

And then everyone says who they think will win, Nick talks about how he and Santino had a falling out, and we end just as awkwardly as we began. Most of the things we were hoping for, including a DV-Andrae makeout and Guadalupe being carted off to the drunk tank, didn't happen. But the memory of "Daniel Franco, Where Did You Go?" will live on forever in my heart.

Next week: typical fashion week shenanigans, and a threat from Tim Gunn, "I'll bitch slap them!" You could not give me a better reason on earth to watch.

I will fuck a bitch up.

Following my bliss,