22 January 2006

television update

1) In the "putting them out of their misery" category, "Will & Grace" and "The West Wing" have both been cancelled after the end of their current seasons. I couldn't tell you what's been going on with "Will & Grace," since that show is something I think most sane people grew out of in high school, but "The West Wing" was most definitely cruising for cancellation. For those of you who don't follow the show, President Bartlet is currently reaching the end of his 8-year term in office and Jimmy Smits (seriously) and Alan Alda (yeah, seriously) are competing for his spot. Now we loyal viewers won't have to face the indignity of seeing anyone other than Martin Sheen in the Oval Office while watching the show not jump the shark, but kind of pathetically trip over it.

Now let's see you pick up Rob Lowe like that.

2) If you are a college student you definitely already know this, but Showtime continues to consider picking up "Arrested Development" at the end of this season. In the Seattle Post-Intelligencer some Showtime suit said "If only a small fraction of the loyal audience that's on Fox came to Showtime, it would be one of our highest-rated shows." God, screw you Fox. If that means that more people are watching "American Idol" than "Arrested Development," which I'm sure they are, I'm never letting myself listen to Clay Aiken again. Not that I did to begin with or anything...

We are not hurting America!

On a related note, a friend of mine just returned from a semester of schmoozing in L.A. to announce that he had hung out with "George Michael." Small pause. "Bluth." I think I was equally excited by both. From this friend's poker games with George Michael Bluth, who is all of 17, he learned that the show hasn't actually been cancelled, though it may as well be. Call that an official Totes Umbrellas scoop-- "Arrested Development" ain't dead yet!

3) After my excited post a few weeks back, I am saddened to announce that Jeff Conaway has left Celebrity Fit Club 3. After flipping out and throwing shoes at a drill sergeant last week, he owned up to using drugs and agreed to go into rehab after an intervention with Dr. Drew Pinsky, who I last remember hosting "Loveline" in the mid-90's with Adam Carolla and was apparently in the Olsen Twins classic New York Minute. Not that I've seen it or anything... Well, if Florence Henderson can be a marriage counselor, I guess anything can happen.

I am a qualified medical professional!

The best part of all of this, actually, is that Jeff has been replaced by a "rocker" who is "famous" for his "long blond hair" and performing with his twin? What? Turns out this "celebrity" is Gunnar Nelson, member of the duo rock group Nelson and son of Ricky Nelson. Turns out the guy isn't actually fat, at least not by Biz Markie standards, but is on the show to get "ripped." Ohhh-k. I guess he could get ripped by taking pills and going the Jeff Conaway route, and really, the season is young and we may expect him to do just that. Don't change that channel! Celebrity Fit Club 3 is just heating up!

I am a legitimate celebrity! Take me seriously plleeeease!

Though I guess if we're looking for legitimate celebrities, then Chastity Bono, you've got some 'splainin to do.

Looking to get ripped,


shamus said...

This isn't relevant in the slightest, but I think you should make an entire post about this:


It's a dance remix to the score from Brokeback Mountain.

Justin said...

Sadly, American Idol is the most-watched show on television. Shoot me in the face. And I think that Loveline is still on. I heard it on the radio over break, and it still has a website (kroq.com/loveline)