16 January 2006

a rant and a rave

Google is continuing to dominate my internet existence with the arrival and popularization of Google Video. You can find music videos, really bad homemade music videos, re-caps from your favorite television shows, FULL episodes of TV shows, bad animations, commercials, Lindsay Lohan, middle school dance recitals, drunk girls, orcas, underwater Jesus, and even stranger things. It is everything you could ever ask for as a procrastination tool.

Now here is where I get to demonstrate to you something that I absolutely HATE. Not only can you see a picture of it, but you can WATCH it.

OK, you can take a guess at what I hate. It's obviously not Bun B. It's not Beyonce. It's not Steve Martin. Don't get it?

It's this stupid music video's format. Hype Williams is a legendary hip-hop music video director. He has been doing videos since 1992 for pretty much everyone-- Wu-Tang, Jay-Z, Nas, Biggie, R. Kelly, Brandy, Missy Elliott, Busta Rhymes, Dr. Dre, etc. He has even crossed over and done videos for No Doubt and Jessica Simpson. His genius is surely debatable, but he sure knows how to produce some blinged-out, high budget, gangsta shit.

Now here's where I'm pissed off. Recently, Mr. Williams has started a trend of making a main video that is wide screen, along with another video split in half playing on the top and bottom of the main video. It is not only used in Beyonce's video, but also in Jamie Foxx's "Unpredictable" and Robin Thicke's (son of Alan Thicke from Growing Pains) "Wanna Love You Girl".

Now, I'm no film major...but I can surely tell you that this isn't aesthetically pleasing. It's also distracting! How am I going to pay attention to Jamie Foxx's face when there are halves of a half-naked chick above and below him? I guess that's the point. But tell me WHY I'd want to look at some flowing pink cloth when I can look at BEYONCE? There is no point my friend. No point.

If this made you as mad as it made me, maybe this spoiler of this season of Degrassi: The Next Generation will cheer you up...or make you depressed in the good way that Degrassi does. By spoiler, I mean...you can see clips of Paige and Alex making out like the commercials imply. Most of this is a recap of events from this last season. Warning: This video includes explicit Coldplay-ity. You will definitely want to mute it and hide it from the children.

A walking study in demonology,
Joe John

2 comments:

shamus said...

1) a Courtney Love reference?

2) finally, Marco is back to being almost decent looking (when pixelated), and I think his new boyfriend might be hot. I can't tell

3) LESBIANS!!!!!1111

Max said...

all i'm saying is... google earth beats google video any day of the week. google earth is godhead.