27 January 2006

pop culture cliffnotes 3.0

So I'd like to make this a new feature soon. Basically, I've grown tired of stealing information from ONTD without providing any sort of interesting commentary. I'm now going to try to sum up a week's worth of news in one post. And there are pictures! I appreciate any input you may have.
  • Wesleyan student Hope Steinman-Iacullo, '09 was on MTV's True Life. I guarantee that you'll probably be able to catch a re-run. Justin-- I got you on Tivo patrol.
  • Everyone is gay. Clay Aiken. Fred Savage. Colossus.
  • The battle is not over. "The Chronic(les) of Narnia" East Coast rap has been responded to by "Lazy Monday", a West Coast version with a shoutout to Amanda Bynes. This is about to be as big of a rap feud as Tupac vs. Biggie. Those SNL guys love drive-by shootings.
  • I'll take a caramel macchiato with the Sufjan on the side. Apparently Starbucks is going to start stocking the pods?
  • I think Katey already posted this but UPN and the WB are colliding...because I really needed to watch Girlfriends back to back with Gilmore Girls.
  • Poor Nicole Richie. Way to downgrade! If you're gonna steal someone's boyfriend...go for Stavros!
  • The only way you could get me to see a remake of Wuthering Heights is if Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie were starring in it! WHAT!?! How did the...? Who...?
  • Staying real is like breathing to Jennifer Lopez...so is having babies. She's also been on Oprah. Let the preggy rumors begin.
  • Remember Angelique Bates from Nickelodeon's All That? Well, now she is rapping. I hope she gives a shoutout to Lori-Beth Denberg!
  • Avril wants to be a pretty girl. Why does she gotta make things so complicated
  • Moesha the videogame: Level 1- Niecy be trippin'! Ever since Kim got a man, she be crackin' mad fat-girl jokes. You gotta tell her to check herself before she wrecks herself! Brandy is going to be the voice of a character in a new adventure videogame (a la Tomb Raider)...she is also doing the soundtrack.
  • Bush hasn't seen Brokeback Mountain. Also, the souljas across seas won't be able to see it. It's not because of gayness, but because of timing.
  • Nas signed with Jay-Z. This is like George Bush playing golf with Osama bin Laden.
  • There's this video of Kevin Federline circulating on the internet. It is him jamming to "Popozao". You will be waiting for him to do something interesting while watching it. This will not happen. If you want some mild humor, check out James Lipton of Inside the Actor's Studio reciting the lyrics on Conan O'Brien.
  • Kanye West pretends he's Jesus. Because he is.
  • The popular girl from Sleepover and teen pop sensation JoJo star in a movie about mermaids that I will probably see and be very ashamed about-- Aquamarine.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"A grown man don't answer to no child. I'm a grown ass man. I cut records before his momma let somebody cut to have him. My worst movie (Wild Wild West) grossed almost twice as your best movie (Like Mike). Check the records and read a book young man."
- Will Smith in response to Bow Wow dissing him in XXL magazine

PICTURES OF THE WEEK
uh...Toccara?
And finally...the best new Hollywood power-couple EVER.
DA BRAT & DAVID GUEST, LIZA MINELLI'S EX.
Move over Brangelina. It's about time for Da Bruest.

Feelin' On Your Booty,
Joe John