09 January 2006

greased lightning!

Continuing my efforts to make this blog entirely about television, I consider it my patriotic duty to bring your attention to Vh1's latest addition to the Crap Pile, Celebrity Fit Club 3. Just in case you hadn't seen enough of D-list celebrities shouting at each other and secretly eating sundaes, a new season is here to fill your, uh, craving.

Like any good reality show, the most interesting person is also the most batshit insane. This season's Gary Busey award for Crazy Anger Management Issues is Jeff Conaway, who, as it turns out, actually used to be kinda hot.

Even Kanickie could get a hickey in Greased Lightning...go go go go go go go!

It seems that having your career overshadowed by John Travolta takes its toll, as the man is not only on Celebrity Fit Club 3, but considers himself too famous for it. On the second episode he shows up to a challenge so hopped up on "Benadryl" that he actually falls asleep while rowing a boat, and then throws his shoes at the guy described by the show as a "drill sergeant." It's hard to tell which is a stupider idea-- lying about your drug use or threatening a very large and intimidating man who has the power to force you to do push-ups.

The show is fleshed out by other D-list gems like Bruce Vilanch and Sonny and Cher's Big Lesbian Daughter Chastity (insert snicker here), who somehow manages to be the sanest person on the show. She and Bruce are on a four-person team with two black people, and they combined their minority statuses (black! gay!) to form their team name, Ebony Flame. Color me officially jealous.


Completely unrelated: we seem to be the only blog in the blogiverse to never post this link: the "Chronicles of Narnia" rap from SNL. It's still hilarious, even though your friends have probably made you watch it 10 times by now. And, as Slate pointed out a few weeks ago, if you haven't seen it yet, you don't have any friends. So go watch it and I guess you can start calling me your friend. It's OK.

Crazy delicious!

I swear I only watch Celebrity Fit Club at the gym,



Joe John said...

Countess is my favorite. "I just want to be the cute girl." She's like the girl Heidi from the first episode of Project Runway 2 who said "I just like pretty things".

Justin said...

Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines equals crazy delicious. HAHAHAHAHA. Love.

katie b said...

andy samberg has come so far since the 'bu! he is jess lane's boyfriend.

essie said...

i think you should have total pride about watching fit club 3. it is way better than 2 and if you're ashamed, then i don't know what i am.