1. The new Splenda ad campaign.
Now, anyone who has ever met me knows that I'm obsessed with Splenda. Screw sugar: that's so 90s. DietCokeSplenda? Amazing. Pillsbury sugar-free cookies sweetened with Splenda? I could eat my weight in them. But the new Splenda ads sketch me out:
I just...uhh...think that the double entendre is too much. Sorry. I'd still do Splenda off of Lindsay's boobs any day.
Where's my "Splenda Daddy"? I need new shoes.
2. Raven on Food Network.
This afternoon I was wrapping presented for my family while watching TV (duh) when stupidass Raven just had to take me on a magical tour of Christmas at Disney World. Ugg (not the footwear). SO annoying. SO sassy. Where does she get off telling me how to spend my Disney Christmas. Now that she's a "superstar" she thinks she the next Jesus. Well, you know what?! Jesus wasn't black, and he didn't have a vagina. Or sass! So there.
3. Comcast's new slogan.
"It's Comcastic"? Are you kidding me?! Please tell me that this is the result of a poorly-planned slogan contest at a Mississippi preschool. God, there's even a website. As if I needed another reason to hate my cable company. I wonder if the sales-reps are required to say "Comcastic!" whenever someone calls to order a new service.
My Splenda Daddy is So Comcastic,