21 December 2005

number nine

part three
THE TOP TEN BEST BAD MOVIES I HAVE EVER SEEN
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You know what I mean...those movies that you recognize are completely terrible...but can't stop talking about. The end of the year is for lists...and unfortunately mine has nothing to do with this year...or any year in particular.

9. Celeste in the City (website, imdb):


Over spring break 2004, I got really bored and indulged in a long-forgotten hobby-- sitting on my ass and watching television. I somehow watched two romantic comedies with incredibly similar plots. This and Three to Tango. Both involved a guy falling for a girl even though she thinks he's gay. One of them had Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell in it, the other had Nicholas Brendon from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as a friend of Dorothy and a makeover scene. You can obviously see which one I picked. Why? Makeovers! What better way to draw people into a romantic comedy than to combine it with an episode of Ricki Lake!! And there is enough drama for an entire talkshow in this movie...let me tell you. The guy she likes cheats on her with some office skank, she thinks the guy that does like her is gay because he's an interior decorator...and even little Xander has a romantic plot to himself. There's even a reference to buttsex. Queens! This movie is full of them, perpetuating gays places as the minstrels of our generation. But honestly, who can resist this tagline-- "It takes a lot of people...to be yourself..."

Rating: zero watchability for heterosexual men who are not sensitive interior designers (aka closeted 'mos)

Taking a lot of people to be myself,
Joe John

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Which one is the one with the football guy who turns out to be gay? That one was funny.

Nat

Anonymous said...

you mean the third season of buffy? :)
-peggy