28 November 2005

stick it to the south

Tomorrow night is the The Real World: Austin reunion show, so it's time for a little "Where Are They Now: Austin Crimes Edition". Now it just wouldn't be The Real World without a few misdemeanors, but the Austin cast definitely took things to a new level.

A quick recap:

Danny was punched in the face by some dude on the street. As a result, he needed surgery to correct a collapsed eye socket and continues to have vision problems.

Nehemiah punched the owner of "Best Wurst" not because of the terrible processed-meat pun, but because Nehemiah's a drunken asshole and thought that people were cutting him in line or some crap. Supposedly he was yelling, "You ain't never going to be on The Real World", which doesn't even make sense unless the middle-aged cart-owner expressed an interest in signing up for the show. Anyway, N spent 12 hours in jail before posting the $3,000 bail.

Johanna stole a rose from a street vendor while drunk and was charged with public intoxication.

Where are they now?
(according to the Austin American-Statesman):

Lucky for Danny, the producers of RW released footage of the puncher to local police. The perpetrator was arrested and awaits trial. He posted the $15,000 bail and is facing up to 20 years in jail.

Nehemiah's trial is on 5 December, and he's looking at up to a year in jail and an anger-management class.

Johanna pleaded nolo, and the charge was dropped after she completed 16 hours of community service and an alcohol education class.

The Real World: law-enforcement's wurst nightmare

Personally, I'm surprised that the douchiest cast member of all, Wes, didn't get into any trouble. I guess it doesn't really matter, because karma's a bitch. You'll be the first to know when I hear that Wes was struck by lightening or involved in a freak gasoline-fight accident.

This place is a prison,


Joe John said...

OH MY GOD! I know Wes from the Real World. He lived on my street and he is the best rapper since Lil Bow Wow. How could you!?! But I don't hate you.

I also don't hate Jess Lane, who I am obviously making fun of with this statement.

Anonymous said...

you pry dont care but Nehemiah needs to die. ps. didnt think you cared...