02 August 2005

Let Me See You 1, 2 Wet Yourself

I know, I know. I've been such a bad blogger recently. Oh, well. But be nice to me; I had a physical yesterday! (PS why do doctors have such cold hands?)

I found this nifty blog generator, and I'm thinking of just generating one and leaving it at that. Instant gratification with no effort: so American. Here we go:

Today I am so grouchy it's pretty sad. I had to almost kill myself 10 times just to get the image of Michelle and Reginald fucking on my bed out of my head. They were my best friends. Now I hate them. I don't need this excrement, I have too much X-Men fanfiction to finish to deal with that. Right now I'm listening to Good Charlotte and all it's doing is making me more grouchy. Reginald can go fuck his grandmother for all I care. I feel like I am completely in solitary confinement, and dressed only in black, as usual. I'm gonna IM Dave P. and see if she wants to hang out at the 7-11 before I start calling someone names.

Hmmm...maybe that's better suited for an angsty LiveJournal (why, yes, that is redundant).

Moving on, I’d like to open up to all of you, so I have a confession: I’ve seen every episode of Lizzy McGuire. Not only that, but I also sent Gordo fanmail when I was in 10th grade. I asked him to be my best friend. I was serious. Now thanks to ONTD I’ve learned that Adam Lamberg (“Gordo”) attends UC Berkeley. I’m road tripping, and I have 6 empty seats with your names on it. No, make that 5. Gordo might want to come back and be my best friend. Who’s with me? Let the stalking-fest begin.

I'm not going to lie; I love Starbucks. Whatever, take away some of my HipsterPoints™. The fact that their "Baristas" can barely work a Mr. Coffee doesn't bother me much. Nor does the fact that their beverages cost more than most of the Louis Vuitton line. Anyway, I must not be alone in my opinions, because I stumbled upon a Starbucks blog. I warn you though: it might stain your teeth.

And now for some news that you might actually care about. Maybe. We'll see:

They may hate each other, but Paris and Nicole Richie (not celeb enough for one name) are gearing up for the fourth season of The Simple Life. Ugh, and it may be wedding themed, since both P and N are currently engaged (of course, this is contingent on the two couples remaining engaged for a long period of time. Like, until the wedding). Whatever. I’m still in shocked that people watch this show. Four season?! That’s more than My So Called Life got. I hate America.

Everyone's favorite lioness Clay Aiken is going to guest star on All My Children Next month! He'll be playing himself, which is probably a good thing if he acts as "well" as he sings. God, how I'd like to take a razor to his...hair.

Michael!!! Why are you leaving us? Is it because our whole country thinks that you're a freak? Because if that's the case, you might as well stay. It's not going to be any better in Bahrain. Or are you just sick of American boys?

Ugh. Now Al Gore actually did invent something.

Quick! Get to the Hamptons. Like now! Doncha wanna see LiLo?! You could probably totally do coke off her boobs. Or what's left of them.

Eat me; there's no longer a guiding light.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with myself. First Doctor Atkins dies and now this! Like, what are we supposed to do? Not eat carbs without the support of a multi-billion dollar corporation? Whatever. I need a meat-shake.

Question: what am I going to buy today?
Answer: Kidz Bop 8

As if the video we posted a few months ago wasn't amazing enough (and I think that it actually might be on the album, because "Since U Been Gone" is listed as a "Multimedia Track"), guys! I can't wait to sink my ears into the KB versions of "1, 2 Step" and "Incomplete". I really think that every household in American should own a copy of this album. I haven't listened to it yet, but I know that it will be the stuff of miracles. Do it for the kidz! Besides, it's good enough for MTV.

It’s this 1 thing that’s got me trippin,


dan fitchette said...

one time when i was in spain i skipped a breakfast in san sebastian with the rest of the kids in my program because i was watching lizzie maguire in spanish. true story.

mell (perling) said...

um, make that FOUR empty seats, crazypants. Unless you have eight seats in your car and you already counted me...which i actually think you might...and can we stop by that fountain where dustin hoffman stalks elaine robinson in The Graduate? Sightseeing!!

btw i think our trio should watch the 10-11 spot every week, esp with trailer fabulous added to the linup

eford said...

just so you know, i have decided to quit my job and spend the remainder of the summer being lindsay lohan's personal hamptons stalker.

so get ready...

Joe John said...

If it's any comfort to you, my dad makes fun of me for watching Lizzie McGuire. Also, my sister told me I can't watch The Proud Family because I'm not black. I told her that 25% of myself identified with the show as a student of color.

mell said...

The following is the evilest product of hot topic-esque merch. Amusing, yes, but if I saw some Avril wannabe sporting it while making out with their black-pants-chain wallet-abrasive-text-on-tee boyfriend, i'd probably slap them around.


Anonymous said...

omg justin, do NOT visit gordo without me. you won't need to save me a seat on the ride home, because i'll be staying and having his children.

Anonymous said...

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jenny said...

what's kidz bop?