01 May 2005

Have you ever been in looooooove?

By popular demand, and by popular...I mean Jenny Low's demands, I have decided to cover the story of the legendary Pizazz!

THE HISTORY OF PIZAZZ!

Pizazz! is one of those rare gems that come out of nowhere and changes your life. The group, as I believe, was created by Peter Curtis of Hampshire University, and a few other people who make up the group Pizazz!, who are "the world's hottest, happiest pop stars" according to their website. They love to party, love to have fun, and love to sing and dance...and they want to share all of that with their best friends. Who would that be? YOU, obvi! Don't be so silly! After the enormous success of "Pizazz! We're Gonna Give it to Ya" they moved on to record two new singles..."Peg Me with Ur Luv" and "A2M (Ass to Mouth)". You got to get these exclusive tracks before everyone else starts to like them! That way you can exhibit your extreme Pizazz! knowledge in the snobbiest way possible. "Shit, I knew about Pizazz! before they were all over the radio and the number one downloaded single on iTunes." By the way, it's all pretty gay...much in the fashion of Gay Pimp, but more wholesome.

THE WESLEYAN DISCOVERY!

The first origins of discovery have been attributed to Patrick Baron. He was shocked at how much Pizazz! looked like Manuel Sanchez. He showed it to his girlfriend, Anna Moench, who totes agreed that Manuel secretly is Pizazz! The video was shown to Manuel at a later date, and he shockingly admitted that it did look like him stating, "Was I drunk?" Later that night, the magic was shown to myself, Joe John Sanchez, and I was shocked at how much Pizazz! in a Pikachu hat looked like me from the side. The Pizazz! craze hit the Argus staff one night, and they all got boners watching it!

RECIPE FOR PIZAZZ!

Take 70% Manuel Sanchez and add approximately 30% Joe John Sanchez. Add trace amounts of Nat Webb, since they all pretty much look like the same person on occasion. Mix in a whole heaping mound of homosexuality and extreme hotness. Add a kitten for extra cuteness. Stir vigorously. Spoon it onto your George Foreman grill and wait five minutes. Enjoy the magic that follows.

THE VIDEO!

Click here and experience the magic. Witness the totesumbrellas debut of..."Pizazz! Gonna Give it to Ya!"

THE PICTURE!

This picture was taken before Queer Prom this year. I've yet to edit it so that I'm dancing on the other side. If you'd like the full size picture, let me know!

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Moving on, I just want to give a sincere shout-out to the new initiates of Alpha Delta Phi and their Critic Gwyn. While I may be an inactive member, I still think they're all good kids who made a good decision by joining. May they all find a home in the society. This may seem out of character coming from me, but I really mean that. Don't hate.

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Congrats!

OK, now onto the really important things going on in the world...

For those of you who missed it, catch Tyra Banks and Janice Dickinson going at it at this site. When I first saw the pictures, I thought Tyra Banks was Ru Paul.

OK, so I'm confused. Paris Hilton got turned down by the Black Eyed Peas, but got accepted by Le Tigre???? That is absurd. Also of note on this link is Mariah Carey's plans for a Christmas Broadway musical. Just what I wanted! "All I Want for Christmas is You" with back-up dancers and a full chorus! Might I add, Mimi got her ass emancipated in the worst way by Rob Thomas' album. That makes me sad, because I hate Matchbox 20.

When rappers attack. Foxy Brown just can't get along with anyone. Who the hell is Jacki-O though?

Andre 3000 is incredible. This half of the Outkast duo is set to star in a modern-day musical as someone with magical powers. Hot damn! I hope this is like Kazaam! the musical!

The woman behind Hilary Duff's "Come Clean"...Ashlee Simpson's "Pieces of Me"...and Lindsay Lohan's "Over" is set to record her own album, which she'll actually write the songs for.

In more Paris news, she totally did a hamburger or something.

Smoosh is the best band ever. See evidence here.

This band's website is incredible. Bambi, boobs, and rainbows!

I hate celebrity parents...Joe Simpson brought Jessica Simpson to an audition for a movie and it didn't go too well. He then approached the man running auditions and said, "But I have my other daughter Ashlee in the car; can I bring her in?"

Great pirate joke from Popbitch...What do you get when you cross a pedophile and a pirate?
Arrrrrr Kelly

No totesumbrellas post would be complete without mention of the Lohan...
"Lindsay Lohan is way wilder than I was when I was her age. Don't put me with her, I don't want to be dragged into her shit." - Tara Reid

TUNES!

Um, so what's with all the best and worst people coming from Canada- The Arcade Fire, Avril Lavigne, The New Pornographers, Sum41, The Unicorns, and Celine Dion. You decide who falls into the best or the worst...This band is also from Canada, and I leave you with the decision of whether they rock out with their cocks out...or just rock out regular type. Their song is called "Fudgicle", disappointingly not "Fudgsicle". More MP3s here.
The Lovely Feathers- Fudgicle

Katie mentioned the new New Pornographers before...and it's pretty amazing. Go Canada! I give you the title track...Might I add that saying "the new New Pornographers" is really fun.
The New Pornographers- Twin Cinema

Ariel Ballinger and I love this band. You should too, even if their album is sold in Hollister and they're included on mixes sold in Hot Topic. Don't hate! They're still a high-quality Seattle rockin'.
Dolour- Suburbiac (the first song I ever heard by them)
Dolour- Rocker Chixxx Dig us
Dolour- Cleopatra Eyes
Dolour- Menage a Trois
More on their site.

I posted some Sufjan before, but this is one of my favorite tracks from the new album...
Sufjan Stevens- Come On! Feel the Illinoise
While we're at it...here's another one...
Sufjan Stevens- Casimir Pulaski Day

Here's your summer song right here.
The Olympic Hopefuls- Holiday

Here's your dose of ironic pop covers...
The Foxy Morons- Come on Over Baby (Christina Aguilera cover)
Note: Amazing band name.

Ben Gibbard makes me feel good inside. Here is a link to a complete live show of his, including these songs and more.
Ben Gibbard- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper cover)
Ben Gibbard- I Was a Kaleidoscope

File under awesome band name, right next to I Hate You When You're Pregnant.
Suburban Kids with Biblical Names- Rent a Wreck

Hey Ma...what's that? Camron mixed freestyling over Journey? That's preposterous. Wait? You're for real?
Camron- Any Way You Want It (freestyle)

TUNES!
Part 2-movie edition

I recently discovered Fonda on some hip MP3 blog...Then I discovered that they sing the Spy Kids theme. I also discovered that the theme to Spy Kids is pretty rockin'.
Fonda- Spy Kids (Save the World)
Here is an example of their other music...
Fonda- Summer Holiday
For more see their site...

I was drinking whole milk the other day and I figured that gave me enough of an excuse to post this song from the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack. I only like it with the opening credits. Otherwise I feel empty inside.
The White Stripes- We're Going to Be Friends

Shoutout to Mean Girls...this band has nothing to do with the movie, but their name is The Mathletes.
The Mathletes- I Hate Math
The Mathletes- Ass Kickin' English Teacher

And so, if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians.- Clueless MP3

Phunking with your heart with no regrets,
Joe John

9 comments:

Justin said...

Pizzaz is fantastic, but is there any way to make it in a convection oven? I don't have a George Forman.

Katey Rich said...

I just watched Tyra's freak-out twice instead of writing my paper. Fuck humping Janice Dickinson-- yelling at people in front of TV cameras is where it's at.

nat Webb said...

Oh my God. Normally when people say people look like other people I think they are fools. But I finally watched "Pizzaz"— and he looks like Joe John + Manuel with a tiny bit of me! THAT'S TERRIFYING!! IT'S FOR REAL! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! I ALSO LOVE HIS HAT!

j. low said...

one of my favorite things about pizazz! is the fact that he's wearing a "cape may" t-shirt. I heart cape may's historic victorian beach houses and boardwalk!

Manuel said...

I feel that I need to take part on this... I have a drinking problem. Or maybe a drugs problem. If you see me walking down the street dressed like that stop me . I repeat, stop me . God knows what I'll do next (peg me with your love?)... But yeah, after convincing evidence I am starting to think that it's me. Thanks Nat for letting me borrow your glasses for the video.

Katey Rich said...

Manuel, I really hope it's Ass 2 Mouth next time. Just because the video for that would probably blow my mind.

Anonymous said...

Hi - I'm DYING to download the full Sufjan Stevens album. I can't wait for it to come out in July! Can you help me figure out where I can find it online?

katie b said...

one good way to get pretty much anything is to use soulseek file sharing: http://www.slsknet.org/

this post almost lost me at alpha delt but regained my trust with live smoosh. well done.

tracy said...

"suburban kids with biblical names" is a silver jews lyric from the song people:

I love to see a rainbow from a garden hose
lit up like the blood of a centerfold
I love the city and the city rain,
suburban kids with biblical names

so the band oughta be like 500 X better than most by the power of association.