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First, I want to clarify on the theme for Essie Lash's birthday party. Attendees of the party were asked to wear white and gold in honor of the "awesome holy man" that is the pope. Not everyone who heard about the party or attended had heard the wonderful words of Patrick Baron. If you haven't heard the NPR clip (fastforward to around 2 minutes, 40 seconds), you need to do so immediately. Patrick Baron of the Catholic nature is not to be confused with Patrick Baron of the Wesleyan University Class of 2006, who was mentioned in my previous Pizazz! post.
Notable quotes by Patrick Baron:
"Oh, it's awesome!"
"I'm sure he'll continue world youth day!"
"He's just an awesome holy man!"
"Two awesome popes right after another!"
Patrick Baron is playing at my house!...Adam Freelander did the most glorious mash-up ever. An MP3 download of...
Patrick Baron vs. Daft Punk- One More Awesome Pope
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Second note of business involves this woman right here...
Yes. That is Rosie O'Donnell. And yes. She played a mentally disabled individual in CBS's made for TV movie, Riding the Bus with My Sister. Yes. Andie MacDowell was her co-star. Yes. It was the best bad movie ever. And yes. Dan Fitchette put it on the network...giving me an excuse to write this post several days late.
To begin, let me fill you in on some of the WesHistory of this movie from my perspective. While at the campus center with a small group of friends, an ad in US Weekly was brought to my attention. The ad had this picture on it...
To begin, let me fill you in on some of the WesHistory of this movie from my perspective. While at the campus center with a small group of friends, an ad in US Weekly was brought to my attention. The ad had this picture on it...
After that, it took nothing to convince me that this was going to be the best movie ever. To make me even more excited, the ad included a phrase like, "They've been sisters all their lives, but now it's time for them to be friends". The movie was by the Hallmark Hall of Fame, based on a true story by Rachel Simon, and directed by Anjelica Huston.
I got invited by dear Essie to a party on facebook for the movie showing. I arrived at C2 and joined a crowd of young people eager for an evening of Rosie's acting. We saw the movie. We laughed. No one cried, but they should have because the ending sucked.
It seems wrong and in bad taste to say that a movie about a mentally disabled individual was the most hilarious thing you've ever seen, but O'Donnell's portrayal of Beth Simon combined with the terrible writing made this movie laugh out loud funny, yet slightly uncomfortable for everyone involved. There also is an extreme ambiguity in just how Beth is mentally disabled. Does she have down syndrome? Or is it something else? Let's not forget that the movie is constantly using the term "retard", contains a heartbreaking and unresolved plot-line of Beth's tubes being tied, and was actually approved by the author of the novel.
Beyond the "retard" plot, there is a sad occurrence in which Andie MacDowell's character Rachel has an asshole fiance...who she leaves. Then, while looking after Beth, she encounters a hunky stud of a bus driver named Rick. They go on a pseudo-date in which she tells him that she couldn't be with him because of their class differences. Sexual tension lasts throughout the movie, but in the end she winds up going back to her asshole fiance...who only comes back because she has a successful art show. Ok, so we know that this may have been based on a true story...but couldn't we have just fabricated the tale a little in order to restore faith to all the hunky bus drivers who want to find their dream girl who won't judge them because of their occupation? Seriously.
Regardless, all the attendees of the original showing haven't been able to stop quoting this movie around one another. Our lives have been made significantly better. There's a facebook group dedicated to it created by Jess Lane. Eliza Ford is working on getting a copy of the movie on DVD or VHS, and as I said earlier, Dan Fitchette has downloaded the movie and put it on the network.
Now, this is the part where I bombard you with links.
First off, let's check out imdb. The message boards are hilarious. Just to get your feet wet I quote..."you really think a retarded person cares if you call them retarded? Of course not.. cause they're retarded."
Then, we have someone who captured the entire closed captioning of the movie. I warn you that it's a spoiler if you haven't seen the movie. A favorite of the quotes comes from a man on the bus who says, "Pay her no mind. She's just a harmless retard. Just don't make eye contact."
The preview and a few clips are available on CBS.com...but TVgasm.com provided us with a video montage of Beth that I love. The clips from CBS collectively make it seem like black people are more friendly to the mentally disabled. Seriously. Also, take note of the poll at the bottom. Please vote just so you can see the results. I promise it'll be worth it. DO YOU LIKE MARSHMALLOWS? Me too.
I got invited by dear Essie to a party on facebook for the movie showing. I arrived at C2 and joined a crowd of young people eager for an evening of Rosie's acting. We saw the movie. We laughed. No one cried, but they should have because the ending sucked.
It seems wrong and in bad taste to say that a movie about a mentally disabled individual was the most hilarious thing you've ever seen, but O'Donnell's portrayal of Beth Simon combined with the terrible writing made this movie laugh out loud funny, yet slightly uncomfortable for everyone involved. There also is an extreme ambiguity in just how Beth is mentally disabled. Does she have down syndrome? Or is it something else? Let's not forget that the movie is constantly using the term "retard", contains a heartbreaking and unresolved plot-line of Beth's tubes being tied, and was actually approved by the author of the novel.
Beyond the "retard" plot, there is a sad occurrence in which Andie MacDowell's character Rachel has an asshole fiance...who she leaves. Then, while looking after Beth, she encounters a hunky stud of a bus driver named Rick. They go on a pseudo-date in which she tells him that she couldn't be with him because of their class differences. Sexual tension lasts throughout the movie, but in the end she winds up going back to her asshole fiance...who only comes back because she has a successful art show. Ok, so we know that this may have been based on a true story...but couldn't we have just fabricated the tale a little in order to restore faith to all the hunky bus drivers who want to find their dream girl who won't judge them because of their occupation? Seriously.
Regardless, all the attendees of the original showing haven't been able to stop quoting this movie around one another. Our lives have been made significantly better. There's a facebook group dedicated to it created by Jess Lane. Eliza Ford is working on getting a copy of the movie on DVD or VHS, and as I said earlier, Dan Fitchette has downloaded the movie and put it on the network.
Now, this is the part where I bombard you with links.
First off, let's check out imdb. The message boards are hilarious. Just to get your feet wet I quote..."you really think a retarded person cares if you call them retarded? Of course not.. cause they're retarded."
Then, we have someone who captured the entire closed captioning of the movie. I warn you that it's a spoiler if you haven't seen the movie. A favorite of the quotes comes from a man on the bus who says, "Pay her no mind. She's just a harmless retard. Just don't make eye contact."
The preview and a few clips are available on CBS.com...but TVgasm.com provided us with a video montage of Beth that I love. The clips from CBS collectively make it seem like black people are more friendly to the mentally disabled. Seriously. Also, take note of the poll at the bottom. Please vote just so you can see the results. I promise it'll be worth it. DO YOU LIKE MARSHMALLOWS? Me too.
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To change topics completely, I got a special "Happy Mother's Day" treat from Russell Barlow today. It was a video from the Portrait of Yo Mama as a Young Man (his brother, Andrew, co-wrote this) web-site...and it is thoroughly humorous and odd.
On another Wesleyan note...Ethan Leinwand & Andrew Vanwyngarden wrote the most incredible song for their final poster project in E&ES155- Hazardous Earth: Stuff that will Kill You. I was lucky to hear the debut of the song in the middle of the science center lobby, but for those of you who didn't, here's your chance. The unfortunate thing is that this song is more appropriate for the next Wesleyan dance party as opposed to a classroom. I warn you...it's pretty addictive.
On another Wesleyan note...Ethan Leinwand & Andrew Vanwyngarden wrote the most incredible song for their final poster project in E&ES155- Hazardous Earth: Stuff that will Kill You. I was lucky to hear the debut of the song in the middle of the science center lobby, but for those of you who didn't, here's your chance. The unfortunate thing is that this song is more appropriate for the next Wesleyan dance party as opposed to a classroom. I warn you...it's pretty addictive.
Ethan Leinwand & Andrew Vanwyngarden- Supervolcano
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Trent from Pink is the New Blog is not down with Ashlee Simpson's new hair-cut...
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Trent from Pink is the New Blog is not down with Ashlee Simpson's new hair-cut...
Personally, it kind of makes me want to "La La". I think it's cute...and I also support Ashlee Simpson even if she can't really sing. She's the best of the overly processed lip-synching pop stars.
So Pitchfork likes Architecture in Helsinki's new album. I don't know whether or not I should be happy or sad about that. It doesn't matter because Max Goldblatt and I love it too, and he dedicated one of the songs to me while DJing. So Nhhhh! ::sticks out tongue::
Um, if anyone has ever heard Har Mar Superstar, can they explain why people like Britney Spears want to work with him? I downloaded a few songs way back for comical value. He basically just has simple beats and overly sexual lyrics about smackin' girls' asses and doing them up against the mixing boards in the studio. I really can't wait to hear some of these songs, especially when he has lyrics like, "When I came home I liked what I found. My girl was masturbating to the Har Mar sound."
First Mariah Carey got served by Rob Thomas, but Bruce Springsteen has shown both of them that he rocks harder by outselling them. Jesse Young is certainly not crying.
If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were having animalistic loud sex near me, I would not complain...I'd most likely masturbate to it. Ok, I'm kidding. I swear.
Hey emo kids! Oh wait...you pretty much don't exist outside of Justin. Legion of Doom are these guys who do mash-ups of emo songs. They're pretty weird. The actual artists aren't happy with the results though...Whatever, Taking Back Sunday you still suck. Confession: I used to be obsessed with Taking Back Sunday in high school. Everyone told me that I'd stop being obsessed eventually, but I didn't believe them. Now I do, because Taking Back Sunday blows big penises.
So Pitchfork likes Architecture in Helsinki's new album. I don't know whether or not I should be happy or sad about that. It doesn't matter because Max Goldblatt and I love it too, and he dedicated one of the songs to me while DJing. So Nhhhh! ::sticks out tongue::
Um, if anyone has ever heard Har Mar Superstar, can they explain why people like Britney Spears want to work with him? I downloaded a few songs way back for comical value. He basically just has simple beats and overly sexual lyrics about smackin' girls' asses and doing them up against the mixing boards in the studio. I really can't wait to hear some of these songs, especially when he has lyrics like, "When I came home I liked what I found. My girl was masturbating to the Har Mar sound."
First Mariah Carey got served by Rob Thomas, but Bruce Springsteen has shown both of them that he rocks harder by outselling them. Jesse Young is certainly not crying.
If Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were having animalistic loud sex near me, I would not complain...I'd most likely masturbate to it. Ok, I'm kidding. I swear.
Hey emo kids! Oh wait...you pretty much don't exist outside of Justin. Legion of Doom are these guys who do mash-ups of emo songs. They're pretty weird. The actual artists aren't happy with the results though...Whatever, Taking Back Sunday you still suck. Confession: I used to be obsessed with Taking Back Sunday in high school. Everyone told me that I'd stop being obsessed eventually, but I didn't believe them. Now I do, because Taking Back Sunday blows big penises.
I'll admit I'm stealing 90% of my news from Trent, but Poop on Ryan Seacrest's Star is the best thing since the Stop Ashlee Simpson petition.
Poor Kelly. Here at Wesleyan, we still love you...and would do anything to heal your bruises provided you promise to play Spring Fling next year. Since U Been Foss. Word on the net is that "Since U Been Gone" is set to be a song on the next KidzBop CD. Bloggers will go nuts when this happens.
Paris Hilton is fussier than Rosie O'Donnell's character in Bus. If I was sculpted in wax, I wouldn't be complaining.
Lindsay Lohan is possibly going to perform for a bunch of overly horny soldiers in Iraq...do you think any of them will care about the music?
Just go here. Look at the headline. The day Audioslave makes history other than being the suckiest band ever...is the day I die.
OK, so I lied. P.O.D. is the worst band ever. And they want Gwen Stefani to sing on one of their songs. Don't do it Gwen. Don't do it. I forgive you for working with Moby, but this would ruin your career.
While researching Riding in the Bus with My Sister, I discovered that Nicky Hilton's website is called "The Other Sister". I wonder if anyone told her about the movie...
A few New Music Tuesdays ago, Justin criticized Shakira's song "La Tortura". This was clearly before he watched the video on shakiramedia. It is quite possibly the most boner-inducing thing ever. She's all covered in ink much in the fashion of Christina Milian in "Dip it Low", except she's Shakira and consequently so much hotter.
Poor Kelly. Here at Wesleyan, we still love you...and would do anything to heal your bruises provided you promise to play Spring Fling next year. Since U Been Foss. Word on the net is that "Since U Been Gone" is set to be a song on the next KidzBop CD. Bloggers will go nuts when this happens.
Paris Hilton is fussier than Rosie O'Donnell's character in Bus. If I was sculpted in wax, I wouldn't be complaining.
Lindsay Lohan is possibly going to perform for a bunch of overly horny soldiers in Iraq...do you think any of them will care about the music?
Just go here. Look at the headline. The day Audioslave makes history other than being the suckiest band ever...is the day I die.
OK, so I lied. P.O.D. is the worst band ever. And they want Gwen Stefani to sing on one of their songs. Don't do it Gwen. Don't do it. I forgive you for working with Moby, but this would ruin your career.
While researching Riding in the Bus with My Sister, I discovered that Nicky Hilton's website is called "The Other Sister". I wonder if anyone told her about the movie...
A few New Music Tuesdays ago, Justin criticized Shakira's song "La Tortura". This was clearly before he watched the video on shakiramedia. It is quite possibly the most boner-inducing thing ever. She's all covered in ink much in the fashion of Christina Milian in "Dip it Low", except she's Shakira and consequently so much hotter.
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TUNES!
Mary J. Blige has a tendency to write so many self referential songs. I really don't understand the need for people like her and Eminem to make music about their life and career. Can't she just write quality music about falling in love and getting crunk?
Mary J. Blige f/ 50 Cent- MVP
Ok, so this is old, but in honor of Mr. Cent, I decided I'd post this hilarious song.
50 Cent- What Up Gangsta
(bad tunes)
Ok, I think this song is so bad that it's good. It's clearly written by 12 year olds. I have a friend at home who is 21 and was like, "I can totally relate to that song". MY GOD.
Simple Plan- Welcome to My Life
While we're on the topic of everything I hate about pop music, this collaboration comes into play.
Nelly f/ Tim McGraw- Over and Over
Ok. So I love Ludacris. I confess that much. When he went on MTV's Dismissed and chose both girls at the end saying they could have "a menage" I thought it was hilarious. BUT I cried when I found out about this song, which samples the Austin Powers theme.
Ludacris- Number One Spot
Last year, Janine Criscuolo made me listen to this and it changed my life. It is absolute evidence that Nickelback's two hit singles "How You Remind Me" and "Someday" are actually the same song. Listen.
Nickelback sucks
(back to tunes I like)
Ok, so this is the first of these songs that I actually like in a completely non-ironic fashion. The problem is that this band is signed to Drive Thru records, home to bands like Allister and Senses Fail. The difference with this band is that their music is upbeat and dancey. It makes you feel good.
Hellogoodbye- Call N Return (Say that You're into Me)
The entire Scissor Sisters album here...Or Bloc Party's album...Or Moby's Hotel if you have no respect for good music...Or some porn music if you prefer.
And now an experiment (sorry about the sizing on this portion)...
JOE JOHN'S TOTESUMBRELLAS DANCE-PARTY MIX
TUNES!
Mary J. Blige has a tendency to write so many self referential songs. I really don't understand the need for people like her and Eminem to make music about their life and career. Can't she just write quality music about falling in love and getting crunk?
Mary J. Blige f/ 50 Cent- MVP
Ok, so this is old, but in honor of Mr. Cent, I decided I'd post this hilarious song.
50 Cent- What Up Gangsta
(bad tunes)
Ok, I think this song is so bad that it's good. It's clearly written by 12 year olds. I have a friend at home who is 21 and was like, "I can totally relate to that song". MY GOD.
Simple Plan- Welcome to My Life
While we're on the topic of everything I hate about pop music, this collaboration comes into play.
Nelly f/ Tim McGraw- Over and Over
Ok. So I love Ludacris. I confess that much. When he went on MTV's Dismissed and chose both girls at the end saying they could have "a menage" I thought it was hilarious. BUT I cried when I found out about this song, which samples the Austin Powers theme.
Ludacris- Number One Spot
Last year, Janine Criscuolo made me listen to this and it changed my life. It is absolute evidence that Nickelback's two hit singles "How You Remind Me" and "Someday" are actually the same song. Listen.
Nickelback sucks
(back to tunes I like)
Ok, so this is the first of these songs that I actually like in a completely non-ironic fashion. The problem is that this band is signed to Drive Thru records, home to bands like Allister and Senses Fail. The difference with this band is that their music is upbeat and dancey. It makes you feel good.
Hellogoodbye- Call N Return (Say that You're into Me)
The entire Scissor Sisters album here...Or Bloc Party's album...Or Moby's Hotel if you have no respect for good music...Or some porn music if you prefer.
And now an experiment (sorry about the sizing on this portion)...
JOE JOHN'S TOTESUMBRELLAS DANCE-PARTY MIX
So Spring Fling is over, the year is almost over and you need some tracks for your dance party...well, we here at totesumbrellas (and by we, I mean me) won't let you go without the perfect pirated totesumbrellas-approved playlist. Depending on how hip your party is, some of these songs may be too ironic.
Mash-Up- Belinda the Punk Rocker (Heaven is a Place on Earth)
M.I.A.- Galang
Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart
M.I.A.- Galang
Joy Division- Love Will Tear Us Apart
Missy Elliott f/ Pharrell Williams- On and On
Neutral Milk Hotel- Holland, 1945
The Killers- Mr. Brightside
Destiny's Child- Soldier
Phoenix- Everything is Everything
The Roots f/ Cody Chestnut- The Seed 2.0
Neutral Milk Hotel- Holland, 1945
The Killers- Mr. Brightside
Destiny's Child- Soldier
Phoenix- Everything is Everything
The Roots f/ Cody Chestnut- The Seed 2.0
Elkland- Apart
The Postal Service- Such Great Heights
Gwen Stefani f/ Eve- Rich Girl
Hellogoodbye- Call N Return (Say that You're into Me)
Franz Ferdinand- Take Me Out
Ciara f/ Missy Elliott- 1 2 Step
Ok, I'm about to fall asleep right on my desk, so I have to go from this place.
No you don't know what it's like,
Joe John
The Postal Service- Such Great Heights
Gwen Stefani f/ Eve- Rich Girl
Hellogoodbye- Call N Return (Say that You're into Me)
Franz Ferdinand- Take Me Out
Ciara f/ Missy Elliott- 1 2 Step
Ok, I'm about to fall asleep right on my desk, so I have to go from this place.
No you don't know what it's like,
Joe John
2 comments:
Whatevs! Taking Back Sunday rocks. I lie in my bed listening to them and crying at least 3 times a week. Just ask my roommate.
PS We're having a TotesUmbrellas-sponsored dance party before everyone leaves with that playlist + the part of the Mean Girls Party playlist that we didn't get to. I won't take "no" for an answer, young man.
This is the first time I heard the Nickelback vs. Nickelback mashup, and it's fucking INCREDIBLE! I love scientific proof of things we all know. God bless America. ::sheds a single tear::
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