Did you hear that Britney and Kevin: Chaotic premiered last night? Did you also hear that it ranked last in its timeslot? Sub-par, kids. I expected more from you two and your Handycam.
Thing I learned from Chaotic, A list:
1. Pink is really cool
2. Payback's a bitch
3. Britney has the most disgusting laugh ever
4. Sex with Kev makes Brit glow
5. Kevin doesn't believe in marriage
6. Nightvision is a horrible, horrible thing
7. Britney has really nice teeth
8. Mo, Britney's bodyguard, is soo cool, and I have a friendcrush on him

Guess who this is
Warner Brothers released the first official picture of Katie Leung, the actress who will play Cho Chang in the upcoming Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I guess she's pretty, but I'm kinda bummed. She's no small-Asian-boy from the Kidz Bop "Since U Been Gone" video.
PageSixSixSix shows what we've all known for years: StarWars is so gay.
Woah! Now you can get Amber Alerts sent to your cell phone. Just log onto www.wirelessamberalerts.org and give the government you cellphone number. Sweet! Now when I'm bored this summer, I can steal a kid and see how long it takes for me to get a text message.
Ok, so Lindsay says she's starring in Mission Impossible 3, but when Ryan Secrest called her on it this morning (on his KissFM radio show), she confessed that she's only auditioning for the part. So I guess she has "agreed to star in it," but that's contingent on it being offered to her. Silly, confused, Lindsay. Eat something.
Speaking of upcoming trilogies, Kelsey Grammer's going to play Blue Beast in X-Men 3. What. The. Hell.
I suck at video games, but technology makes me O, so I'm always excited about the E3 expo. Anyway, it started today, and Sony, Nintendo, and Microsoft all debuted new systems. Wanna know something really ironic? Microsoft's XBox 360 is technically a Mac.
The Olsen twins are on a "promotional tour" in Europe this week. For what? Their Wal-Mart clothes? Another straight-to-DVD-movie? Eating disorders?
This portion of TotesUmbrellas is brought to you by Tom, who thinks blogs are dumb, but reads them anyway:

Paris likes it messy
We've all heard that Paris Hilton's beefy ad is "too hot for TV," but have you seen how nasty it is? Literally, the photo on Defamer makes me want to throw up. Maybe Carl's Jr's customers like anal sex and chicken sandwiches? Too bad they don't serve hotdogs. Sadly, we don't have any CJ's in Atlanta, so I won't be able to celebrate tomorrow, when the ad hits the airwaves. Anyone up for a roadtrip?
I never thought it would end up this way. Drums,
Justin
PS: I figured I wouldn't take away the glory from Justin, but I wanted to get these up before they were taken down...From Joe John, I got you some hip-hop infused...
TUNES!
As you may be aware, I am obsessed with Amerie's "1 Thing" and am ecstatic about it's placement on the upcoming Kidz Bop masterpiece. Little known fact though...I own the Jackson 5's greatest hits. This song brings both of them together, and as most mash-ups are (with rare exceptions like Stroke of Genius) isn't as good as either of the originals.
Amerie vs. The Jackson 5- ABC Thing
This is Amerie's first single I believe...off her first album? I'm too lazy to research. To be completely honest, this is that single remixed with Ludacris...who Jenny Low and Justin Costa think is the Dr. Seuss of our generation.
Amerie f/ Ludacris- Why Don't We Fall in Love (remix)
It's a special occasion...Mimi's remixification. I just found a nice remix of "It's Like That". I think it might be a mash-up with Mylo. CAUTION: It's so explosive.
Mariah Carey- Drop it Like That
This link has most of Destiny's Child's Destiny Fulfilled, among other things, for download...
This song was performed at Jubilee this year, arranged by Lancelot Drummonds on piano. It was so much better with Lancelot. Later he sang his own original song about making love and Naomi nearly melted in gasms.
Destiny's Child- If
This is probably one of my favorite non-single tracks...SO MUCH GIRL POWER!
Destiny's Child- Through with Love
INCREDIBLE MASH-UP ALERT: The incredible part of this has nothing to do with the Black Eyed Peas...but moreso the successful usage of the Ghostbusters theme.
Black Eyed Busters (fixed link)
I hated Gorillaz for a long time...until I overheard Katie B talking about their song to someone. I had seen the song on a few blogs but refused to listen to it because of my intense hatred. Then she mentioned that Dan Fitchette liked it...and since Dan hates pretty much everything, I decided to give it a chance. I actually liked it...and am kind of obsessed with it even if it's in an iPod ad.
Gorillaz-Feel Good Inc.
If you act fast, you can get the whole album here, but it's almost guaranteed to not be as good as this song.
I may have posted these before...but they're two of my favorite songs...
The Stills- Still in Love Song
Ben Gibbard- They Don't Know
I hope you enjoyed the first joint post...which was done completely without Justin's permission so Katie shouldn't feel left out.
4 comments:
Um...Kelsey Grammar is perfect as Beast, because Beast is a total tool.
a) thank you so much for coming to lunch with me/us even though i was crazy about the location and such.
b) i just realized that i haven't read Pink's thoughts on Chaotic.
c) I did a speech on the "comeback of grammar" focused a lot on the success of "Eats, shoots and leaves"
d) So THAT'S why I coveted that Xbox
1) the black eyed peas link doesn't work please oh please fix it
2) did you make that wikipedia entry, justin?
3) dan fitchette loves that gorillaz song almost as much as he loves getting mentioned on this blog!
4) i don't feel left out or anything it's ok guys.
No, it was already there, which makes wikipedia officially the coolest thing ever. I thought about copying Joe John's definition into the wikipedia entry, but I'll let him do that.
Post a Comment