15 April 2005

Thank God it's Blog-day

THE WORLD IS ENDING...AGAIN! You may recall the first apocalypse when we discovered that there will be a sequel to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. But now...BUT NOW...a combination of two of my least favorite things. ADAM SANDLER and MUSICALS! Yeah, no joke. The Wedding Singer is going to be a musical. I am thankful that it at least wasn't a musical based off of Billy Madison with songs like, "Shampoo is Better!" Broadway is screwed these days.

If that's not enough to make you cringe, the fabulous Lindsay Lohan is being courted to be in a staged production of 90s teen flick Clueless. I sincerely hope the Lohan makes the right decision. I mean, doesn't Barry Weissler know that Lindsay is too much of an "it" girl to do staged productions?

Britney is expecting a baby girl! Maybe she can follow in mama's footsteps and marry her back-up dancer too! The name of choice is Lynne, after Brit's mama.

Britney Spears is playing at my house...

Fans of Freaks and Geeks will delight in the existence of The 40 Year-Old Virgin!

Nick Carter?

Wanna see that guy who isn't Ben Stiller from Dodgeball in his underwear? I do.

Well, I'm glad Ashton Kutcher isn't addicted to Viagra...aren't you?

Fantasia from American Idol is not only a baby-mama, but she's also going to be a guest star on The Simpsons.

You may recall the rivalry between Biggie and Tupac...you may even be cool enough to know that The Killers have beef with The Bravery, but now Tom Green is stirring up trouble with Martin Short. Does anyone else notice that we haven't heard anything about Tom Green since "The Bum Bum Song"?

Mischa Barton loves kissing girls! Ok, maybe not...but she'd rather make out with chicks on screen than dudes.

So now that ODB is dead, MTV says people are going to listen to his music.

"I'm going to make everyone famous!"- Lil Jon...the most influential man of our times. Soon, he will work with Whitney Houston. I look forward to the diva going from soulful ballads to crunked up jams.


No date for Queer Prom? Spring Fever getting to you? Feeling...lonely? This jam is popular amongst the kids apparently...I also included the original version so we can take it back to 1964.
Akon- Lonely
Bobby Vinton- Lonely

Hey, you wanna hear a techno version of White Lion's "When the Children Cry"? Then do you want to come over and cry...with me?
Mark Oh- When the Children Cry

Bathe in the toilet bowl! I think actual Bill Cosby is just as funny as House of Cosbys. I think it might be ironic fun...but it's still fun. Not quite as much guilty pleasure as this game here.
Bill Cosby- My Brother Russell

Guess what? Tonight there will be so many drinks in the kizzup and I will probably not give a fizzuck.
R. Kelly & Ray J- Quit Actin'
You all HAVE to hear the remix to "In the Kitchen"...R. Kelly basically talks for a minute about why people need to stop giving him shit and I'd totally do it as a monologue if I auditioned for Acting I.

This song is very reminiscent of The Postal Service's "Nothing Better" given the dual male/female vocals and electronic music.
Figurine- Way Too Good

Hey! The genre of "indie hip-hop" generally sucks...but this song is pretty sweet.
APSCI- Bike Messenger Diaries

JAM OF MY LIFE: This is the best obscenely long song title since "If You Died I Wouldn't Cry Because You Never Loved Me Anyways" by Mya...AND IT'S SO CATCHY.
The Strip Squad- If You Don't Take Me Right Away You Might As Well Fuck Off

Lil Jon needs to pass me some crunk juice so I can get famous,
Joe John

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