30 April 2005

Damn you, Frito Lay!

So The Bravery finished their "Fearless" video like 10 days ago, and I still can't find it! Ugh, if I have to wait until May 23rd when it's released to the public, I'll feel so lame. Minions, if you can find this video for me, I'll pay with sexual favors and give up my title as co-King of the Internet.

Since I'm a nerd, I find this hillarious: Tiger Direct, an online computer store, is suing Apple computer, b/c Apple's Tiger operating system (Mac OS 10.4) dropped yesterday, which caused Tiger Direct's Google rank to drop severely. Though I'm a diehard Mac fan, I kinda want Tiger Direct to win this one. Then we at Totes Umbrellas could sue Totes, the umbrella company, for messing with our Google rank. The bitches.

Lil Kim
Free Lil Kim!

Keep Lil' Kim outta the big house! She's waiting to be sentenced after being found guilty of perjury, and I guess the judge has low self esteem or something, b/c he's into peer pressure. Write a letter (remember that her legal name is Kimberly Jones), because only you can stop Lil Kim from being incarcerated.

Well, thanks to Dubya there was no O.C. Thursday night. Someone should really tell him that once The O.C. starts, there is no talking. Whatevs. From what I gather on Fox's website, there are going to be two new episodes next week, back-to-back. Anyone up for an O.C. party? My room. 'Round 8ish? Cool. I'll see you there.

Ahhh! Everyone ready your butt-plug! Frito-Lay has introduced a new lower-fat line of chips (I actually noticed this over Spring Break, but I forgot about it until now). Their Light brand does have 1/3 the calories, but beware! These modified versions of Ruffles, Tostitos, and Doritos are fried with olestra. Remember Olean (who by the way has the shittiest website ever)? Remember thinking that childhood obesity was solved until chowing down on a whole can of Fat-Free Pringles and leaking anally for a week? Yah, well I just ate a bag of low-fat chips, and now I'm having deja-vu.

I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now,


Katey Rich said...

Dude, I ate those back in middle school, and never had a problem. Yes guilt-free snacking!

notjesslane said...


Joe John said...

Um, we definitely couldn't be sued by Totes umbrellas or viceversa because our name is one word...and CLEARLY is pronounced "Tot-ay-sum-bray-lus".