A cause for celebration, a bit of blogification...

It was promised that I would write an entry about Mimi's emancipation. While I have supported Mariah Carey and bought the album through iTunes, I cannot give a full review until a later date. Mimi has been emancipated, but has she really been? This seems to be the question the media is asking us. My opinion is that if she chooses the right singles, she can make a come-back. In conclusion, the "right singles" should include "Your Girl". Then, and only then, will Mariah be freed from the chains of Charmbracelet and Glitter.

Now, on to the really important news in today's world...

Russell Barlow '06 still has a famous brother who is blogged about hardcore.

When Orlando Bloom says that Brad Pitt helped him through a rough time, he clearly meant that they had LOTS of butt sex...

I hate to dork out on you, but how come no one told me Juggernaut was the new villain for X-Men 3!?! Bitches.

Oh, so I found out that the Kanye West tracks I posted before were actually taken from various mix-tapes and NOT from the new album. The guy who posted them is lame. Sorry kids...not my fault. OH, also the new Fiona Apple is actually just songs taken from her mix-tapes with DJ Clue and Funkmaster Flex. J/k! In conclusion, new Fiona=real and the new Kanye=actually Kanye but not his new album. BTW, the Fiona leaker got BUSTED. Not in the Pink is the New Blog kind of way but for REALZORZ!

Why was Charisma Carpenter (aka Cordelia of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel) important enough to talk at the crowning of playmate of the year!? I mean, she got all naked for Playboy, but she said absolutely nothing in her "speech". If you watch a little longer, you'll get to see how bad pretty people with big boobs are at acceptance speeches. Carmella Decesare obvi didn't take classes on public speaking in high school. She clearly knew that her boobs would get her where she is today.

The Olsen Twins are designing furniture. I know I want to lean back in a Mary-Kate armchair. I can't wait until it goes on sale!

Jennifer Lopez almost got into a car accident because of the paparazzi. Apparently she "got goosepimples." Word on the street...from my cousin's cousin, who is a dermatologist for famous people, is that J. Lo also has pimples elsewhere...like her butt!

Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs has released a new single through iTunes which appears in a commercial by Adidas. There's a good remix here...and three low quality MP3s of the song here, but if you like it that much you are supporting big corporations and sweat shops more than you're supporting Karen O. I just listened to it and I suddenly want to go buy some Adidas Superstar 35s...

Speaking of creepy commercials, Burger King's "Wake Up With the King" ads always get to me. If you've seen the first one, this guy wakes up in bed with the Burger King after clearly having had a one night stand. The newest ad isn't quite as creepy, but...well, actually it is.

The new Black Eyed Peas album is to feature Justin Timberlake, Sting, Jack Johnson, James Brown, and John Legend. I don't know about you, but I'm worried. I'm especially worried after hearing the clip of "Don't Phunk with My Heart" on iTunes. I guarantee the new Peas album will feature 200% more Fergie than ever. Does anyone else but me realize that she didn't EXIST in the beginning of the Black Eyed Peas? She just popped up out of NOWHERE for Elephunk.

Amy Rosen '07 tried to send a mass e-mail out to a bunch of people for Midsummer, which goes up this weekend. SEX AND SHAKESPEARE!!! Well, the e-mail said, "Be there and be aroused". Dan Fox '05 was on the list. Unfortunately, Dan's e-mail is not dfox@wesleyan.edu. As a result, an alumni replied, "I'd love to be aroused, but at my age I don't think it'd be good for my heart."

Am I the only person in the world who'd be tempted to buy a Gund version of Paris Hilton's Tinkerbell? I just think it'd be awesome to walk around with it in my purse or cleavage...SHIT! I have neither a purse OR cleavage!

Beyonce is trying to make more bad-movie history...

I wish that this could be for real. G-g-g-g-unit meets gmail.

You think if I wrote a letter to Britney Spears that she would let me get all up in her hotel room to interview her? NOOOOOO. But if I was a ten year-old schoolgirl...she would. Fuck you Veronica You. Fuck you.

MP3 TIME!

If you enjoy choral arrangements of 90s grunge rock then this goes out to you! This is surprisingly haunting...
The Scala Choir- Smells Like Teen Spirit

This is a song about a guy called "Lucky"...
Actually it's a song about a guy whose bitching about being too old and how he'll never be famous or cool because of it. Poor guy.
Herman Dune- Not on Top

I can't decide whether it's amazing or annoying to jam 11 musical artists into less than 2 minutes. This mash-up includes AC/DC, The Cure, David Bowie, Wham!, Katrina and the Waves, Cold Chisel, Corey Hart, Bobby McFerrin, The Police, Prince, and Paul McCartney...
Close to Me [Close to Me (Don't Stand So)]

Remember in 6th grade when girls would talk in gibberish and you wouldn't know the secret to the language and be really sad? No...you were one of those girls who knew it? Damn, well...now there's a song about talking in gibberish so your parents don't know you're boinking...
Cassius Henry- Gibberish

The Decemberists try to be Bjork. Some like to call these cover songs.
The Decemberists- Human Behaviour

I love when Vocal Debauchery does Kate...I mean the song! Here is a version of the song that has strings in it. I kind of like it more than the original. If you're a lover of Ben Folds Five, check out this site for rare tracks.
Ben Folds Five- Kate (w/ strings)

If this song isn't rockin' your brain yet...you lose...a lot. It's old news by now.
Smoosh- Massive Cure

I posted this up there somewhere, but here it is again.
Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Hello Tomorrow (Ekstra remix)

We're kickin' it tonight, Make sure your skirt is tight,
Joe John