30 March 2005

This Shit Is Bananas!!

Since I just returned home from a glorious screening of Ice Princess, I'll start there: It seems that little miss Trachtenberg owes Sarah Michelle Gellar a vital organ, and her new movie's gonna have some good ole cousin lovin'!

Speaking of Ice Princess, Kristen "Jumping Shrimp" Olson, who plays Nikki in the film, was born in the 90s yet plays a high school senior. Now, I know that the entire cast of The O.C. (save Mischa) is geriatric, but since when has Hollywood gone the other way? Pretty soon Dakota Fanning's going to be staring in Little Red Riding Hood....as the grandmother.

Here's another beef I have with Hollywood: they always make two of the same movie. Armageddon and Deep Impact, anyone? Well, they're doing it again, and this time it's with Oscar Wilde...kinda. Who will be the better Dorian? My bet's on David Gallagher. Not only did his stint with 7th Heaven get him in with J.C., but just look what it did for Ashlee's career. She's like totes a star now, obvi. Ryan Philippe's got nothing.

Star Mag Cover
A bun in the oven or just too many buns?

Well, if Britney's recent scathing letter to Star Magazine is any indication, it's mean and insensitive to ask if someone's preggo. Especially if she's just fat. But enough with the fat jokes. I think it's really sweet of Brit to pack on the pounds. She's only making Kevin Federline, who's used to sexing women with junk in the trunk, feel more comfortable.

People are saying that Sin City's going to be up to its ears in blood (and in three colors nonetheless!). Is that such a horrible thing? I mean, as long as Brittany Murphy gets stabbed or something it's totally worth it. I hate that bitch, and I'll never forgive her for stealing two hours of my life with Uptown Girls.

Last night's American Idol theme? The 90s. I wonder if Ryan Seacrest had trouble making horribly unfunny comments, seeing as he wasn't even born until '94. And, Jessica, singing LeAnn Rimes is not the way to win America's heart...it's how to make our ears bleed.

And now for some media immersion:

Would you walk uphill both ways in the snow to see a Death From Above 1979 show, but don't want to shell out 25 bucks for the UK import? Get the UK bonus tracks here.

"It's all good under the hood" when Lindsay Lohan stars in "Herbie: Fully Loaded." Catch the trailer here. I think Herbie's the first stick Lindsay can't control just by giving googly-eyes

Gosh, this shit is bananas! Gwen's new video's out! But you'll have to right click and hit "save," b/c this link's Serious-ly wack.


notjesslane said...

i wish that i were japanese so that i would be automatically gwens best friend. also What is up with her fingernails?

Anonymous said...

about Sin City, i think its going to be so campy/comicy that the blood won't seem bloody...if that makes sense. Like Kill Bill vol 1 was comically bloody with the red red shooting straight up in the air out of a bloody stump kind of blood.

Also, does anyone else get a weird "friend"-slavery vibe from Gwen's relationship with her "hirojiki" (i can barely spell english, I cannot transliterate) girls? I mean, what is with that? It kind of creeps me out.

Kiss Kiss, Mell

Katey Rich said...

I cannot believe they're doing a Herbie remake. I mean, watching Mean Girls the other night has reminded me that Lindsay Lohan is kinda awesome, but that's such an essential part of my childhood. Can't handle change!

Joe John said...

Ok, so fabulous things about the video...

- Gwen "shh-ing" everytime "shit" was said"

-Riding in a shopping cart.

-Pharrell's short appearance

-Everything having to do with BANANAS

-Gwen Stefani's ass

-ridiculous Harajuku girls...